Wednesday, December 28, 2016

2016, wtf

The last couple weeks have brought one of the things I look forward to at the end of each year: albums of the year lists. It's a nice way for me to check out tunes I didn't hear over the course of the year. Each list generally contains a nice little synopsis of the jam, and then a link to further listening. Some gems I am now enjoying are new albums from Mithras, Insomnium, Asphyx, and a band called Crying. Seriously, Crying. My own list will be coming soonish.

Anyway, one thing i noticed in virtually every list I read was that a lot of musicians died in 2016. OK, that's legit, it is a list concerning music over the past year. Makes sense. But the other thing that I noticed in every list is that 2016 apparently has been a terrible year for the world...and then obviously Trump OMG. Just a couple months ago, we had Hillary Clinton telling us how awesome everything is. It was Trump that was apparently painting this dark picture of the world. Make up your minds, assholes.

Well, what do reasonable people with functioning brains think? SPOILER ALERT: we don't think that.

We like to look at the positives.

OK, but first the negative, a big one: Donald Trump is President. That's the reality, pretty shitty.

With that out of the way, let's focus on some of the good things a Donald Trump presidency means. The first thing that comes to mind is that Hillary Clinton is not President. There will likely NOT be a nuclear holocaust with Russia. This is a good thing. Second and third, neither Ted Cruz nor Bernie Sanders are president! Not one of those three shitheads will be the leader of the free world. Objectively, I think that's pretty awesome. And if you are a pro-equality, anti-war dickhead like me, you should agree.

Real talk though: The Republican candidate was Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Democrats and progressives should have been drooling over this election. Many probably already were anyway.

This should be a unanimous vote, or at least a goddamn landslide.

But then how does a Democrat manage to lose? By employing an election strategy that consisted of fucking up in probably the most epic manner ever, starting with (deceptively) presenting the only candidate that is more vile than the other one. And the Russian hacker stuff too, lol. That some WMDs-in-Iraq bullshit. If you were genuinely excited about Hillary Clinton, it might be best if you were no longer with us. At the very least, just shut the fuck up and go back to your seat at the kids table.

Aside from all the fake news, Trump, the hate crime hoaxes (wait, these hoaxes are actually good because that means that the hate crimes didn't actually happen, right?), the presidential election in general, 2016 was actually a pretty goddamn awesome year for me. I'd explain why, but you likely don't care. I'm not sure I do much either.

If you had a crappy 2016, we at HYM Corp all hope that your 2017 is marginally better.

No comments: