Monday, October 28, 2013

volcano choir show review, for real

We went and saw Volcano Choir and it was awesome. Yep, the local rock star did a concert at his alma mater, in a campus auditorium (University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire). I believe it was the first of two nights there.

The opening band, Adelyn Rose, appear'd on stage and my first thought was, "holy fuck these hipster looking pieces of shit are going to suck". And then the music started. And my initial judgement was right on. But then something funny happened: they ceased to suck as I was drawn in by the lead singer's vocals.

And the shitty sound didn't help their cause, because the style struck me as an almost shoegazey indie rock by way of the new wave of pseudo bluegrass bullshit being peddled by assholes. It can be so hard to nail a band's style when you're first seeing them live. Anyway, overall, I enjoyed them, when I know I shouldn't have.

The hard scheduled 30 minute intermission followed Adelyn Rose, during which the lights came on and the elderly couple seated in front of us busted out a newspaper to kill time. Srsly, they came prepared. Prepared to rock, then prepared to read, then prepared to rock again. Also noteworthy was the higher amount of older folks in attendance.

Sure as shit, half an hour later, out comes Volcano Choir. Aside from some awkward dancing from frontman Justin Vernon, the set was awesome. Kind of odd/cool was the podium setup the he used. It appeared he was flipping through pages on the podium, as he sang, not sure what was going on there.  Also at a couple points he was wearing headphones.

The sound was great and the band seemed PUMPED to be there. The guitarist in particular, when introducing a song or making color commentary, always had a huge smile on his face, and came across as genuinely excited. His hair was either platinum blonde or grey, and from our distant (but sick) balcony seats, he appeared to be older than the rest of the band. Also, he looked like Julian Assange. None of that had any impact whatsoever on my enjoyment of the show.

Admittedly I am not familiar with their two-album catalog, but they played the hits that Heckyeahwoman wanted to hear, and I did recognize a few from her streaming the albums. It was cool, their sometimes Isis-meets-jangly-yet-kinda-droney-indie-rock-sound went over really well live. With the better sound quality, relative to the opener, none of the instruments got drowned out in the frequency of others.

I think the pop sensibilities the band employs in their music really keeps the attention of the audience, because let's be honest, if you're not typically into this type of music, it could be a snoozefest. Great vocals, combined with a knack for sneaking in catchy and sometimes repetitive guitar lines, both also play a huge part in that.

Very catchy, very well done, I look forward to picking up some vinyl in the near future. I also look forward to any opportunity to be seen with Heckyeahwoman in public.

I've never seen Bon Iver, and word on the street is that I may never have the chance. But as long as Volcano Choir is around, I can totes live with that. And even if Volcano Choir weren't around, I could still totes live with that.

Friday, October 25, 2013

volcano choir show review

Sorry for the hold up on the review, but last Saturday night we went and saw Volcano Choir. In case you're not a hipster, they are Justin Vernon, of Bon Iver Grammy-fame, and like five other dudes. I believe the band was around prior to Bon Iver and is now his main project.

Well, it looks like there will be another hold up on the show review - expect it next week sometime. While waiting, the following is a brief anecdote from my recent trip to the dentist.

I went to the dentist.

I got my teeth clean'd.

I got fillings.

Notice the "s" in fillings, denoting multiple fillings. Please note that they were "re-fillings" on old cavities from when I was a young punk.

It was as we were wrapping up when the real meat and potatoes of this story occurs. Just as I was getting ready to split, the dental hygienist axed me one, she asked me what type of cologne I was wearing, because I smelled good.

Without missing a beat, my reply: "at my age, just not stinking is the only cologne I ever wear now".

Friday, October 18, 2013

baseball playoffs

We are down to four teams that are completely and wholly uninspiring. Who knows, maybe the excitement of the World Series will change my mind.

Doubt it.

Anyway, here's a quick rundown of the four remaining teams, and why I find it so hard to root for any of them

Boston Red Sox - Possibly the worst fan base in all of sports? Note that they did play furiously in the best division in baseball, so I kinda hope they win. At least so the Rays loss isn't in vain. Keep in mind this is probably the pro sports team I like the least, aside from the NHL teams.

Detroit Tigers - Miguel Cabrera and Justin Verlander. And I hate to see my friends in Michigan cheer for successful Detroit teams.

St. Louis Cardinals - Go back to 04 and sign Larry Walker again, then maybe I'll cheer for you NL Centr'l turd red birds.

Los Angeles Dodgers - Yasiel Puig is a young asshole. I guess I hate the Dodgers the least, but they're about to be eliminated like a world-famous HYM bowel movement.

So yeah, baseball, bros.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013


The impending weekend got you down? Not too PUMPED about beautiful fall weather and football?

Well turn that frown upside down, friendo, cause the fine folks at HYM dot org got your back.

Well, the first step, slamming as much freshly brewed, strong as fuck coffee is on you. But after that, we got'chu. Crank up that volume and get yourself into a better place.

Imagine this, your boi, the lead author of HYM, LLC, on the drive home from work yesterday, tired, not feelin' a work out, coming home to an empty house, save for our fuzzy, orange cat-son giving me the usual warm greeting.

Still not feeling the work out, but I gotta do it. Begrudgingly I headed downstairs to trudge through 35 mins of brutality. Then it hit me. I need THE PUMP. 


And it was like the purple unicorn that lives under my (sick screened in) porch answered my thoughts and THIS SONG came on:


Cause I just dropped to the ground and started BANGING OUT PUSH-UPS. But the funny thing there is that I did so many push-ups that I GOT IMMEDIATELY pissed that I wasn't doing any pull-ups.

So I fuckin' got up and started doing pull-ups.

Wow, getting sweaty and angry. Obvi the focus here has been on getting PUMPED and SWOLE and JACKED beyond belief.

But what about my mind?

Well let's just assume that in the above PUMPJAM homeboy is yelling about his mind, but that's just a metaphor for a .357 magnum. So really he's armed with a handgun. Sounds better, sounds PUMPIER.

And besides, all that mind stuff and being smart and philosophical and wise, save that for Heckyeahwoman, she's the brains and beauty of the operation here, I'm just the brawn.



Tuesday, October 15, 2013

damn, who that?

The other day, Heckyeahwoman and I were on a minor road trip, and had to stop to get gas. Pretty standard, hit up the first Kwik Trip we saw. Sadly, we were both so stuffed from the monstrous breakfast we crushed an hour earlier, that there was no way we could fit in a hot dog.

While I was pumping gas so furiously that my brow may or may not have furrowed a bit, something caught my attention, out of the corner of my eye.

Mmmmmmmm who that fine woman wandering her fine way up to the gas station? In fact, the exact question I thought to myself was "oh wow, who is that?"

Took but just a second for me to recognize her as my wife.

Monday, October 14, 2013

amateur writer's hour

Salon has long been known for their limited grasp of understanding the way the world works, coupled with a severely left leaning bias. Add to that a tragically uninformed reader-base, and they have been able to continue to spew what is essentially garbage, to what are essentially garbage consumers. Pretty sweet deal for the head honcho over there.

Then there's the having integrity, character, and looking at yourself in the mirror thing. Though something tells me that's not a dealbreaker over there.

Anyway, I'd be the first to cop to loving to condescend and belittle as many people as possible, even considering my limited intellect. But that's beside the point.

Somehow, I  came across this "piece" at Salon, from Brian Beutler. Basically he says that Republicans missed their chance to capitalize on Obamacare technical hiccups, though he curiously never mentions philosophical or political glitches, to be expected though. But then it gets scary as he plants the seeds of the possibility or in this case, inevitability of (Republican-led) sabotage of the site.

Let's take a look.

First, he rightfully notices Republicans missing a golden opportunity to instill doubt in the Affordable Care Act, with all the technical difficulties. If the government can't even get a website functioning properly, how are they going to mandate and facilitate your healthcare, doctor visits, and brain surgery? Should have been a huge red flag to not just Republicans, but to every American as well.

Predictably, he skips the mainstream media glazing over that part of the implementation challenges. Instead it was reported not as government failure, but as overwhelming support for ACA.

And don't forget, we are treated to a little color commentary in which opinion gets passed off as fact, from Mr. Beutler: "Republicans hate the idea of providing coverage to the uninsured and fear nothing more than the eventual success of the law, this was “good news” on the right."

The next line of obligatory blame for the government shutdown makes this a twofer of fact denial.
Solid journalism, bro.

Another bunch of fluff paragraphs follow, talking about the oncoming hacks and politically motivated attacks, obviously from political foes. Also, love that he includes that the attacks would be unsophisticated, because drowning in idiocy, those who merely question the messiah are akin to cavemen. Actually, Mr. Beutler, it should be cave-people. 

It's sad enough that I gave these idiots page clicks, but there are people that are not only giving them clicks, but thinking to themselves at the conclusion of the "article": "Right on! Fuckin' Republicans suck! Obama bitch!".

Listen (ha, or read), I know good journalism. Not by regularly doing it,  but because I have family members who are legit writers, big time players in the wordsmithery game. And they wouldn't pull these clown moves.

Bottom line: there is absolutely no reason for that article to exist. Much in the same way, Mr. Beutler has no redeeming social value.

Friday, October 11, 2013

buzzfeed politics

Buzzfeed reports that Wall Street is not happy with Republicans.

But read the short article.

My initial take is that if Wall Street is not happy with a certain segment of people, that might mean that certain segment of people could be doing something to hinder Wall Street's ability to make money or have their way. Or dictate financial policy.

And correct me if I'm wrong, but I think a lot of people were mad at Wall Street for making a lot of money and having their way over the past 12 or so years. Sorry, my bad, this current administration has nothing to do with Wall Street. Or maybe they do.

At any rate, I've gotta think that pissing off Wall Street would be a good thing. And with the current Republican batting average hovering around 0, I think we should commend them for that.

And you know what else I think? I think that it's a really nice day outside, and I gotta get out there and play volleyball today during lunch.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

who fault this is

The Government dun shut itself down. That is a point with very little contention. Start asking assholes where the blame should be placed, and this is where things get kinda murky.

Yes, if you start asking "assholes" to weight in on political matters, you'll be asking people that believe insane things, like:

- guns are self aware, and often times get up on their own volition and just start killing people, and only the government can stop that from happening.
- the bible has a place in science classes.
- two dudes getting married actually affects our lives in some strange way.
- war is good if a charismatic black dude starts it, but bad if an old white guy does it.
- the government's long track record of failures will somehow help them succeed in the health care industry
- other crazy stuff.

As I've been saying for years, these are the people that have babies, teach our kids at school, drive automobiles on the road next to us. We don't need them weighing in on public policy. But they still do.

Chances are, you're one of them. Yes, most likely YOU should not be voting. Or having babies, or teaching anybody anything, or driving.

Because you are maybe somewhat intelligent, and maybe a decent person, but for some reason, a huge asshat.

I digress, the government shutdown. The mainstream media seems to blame Republicans. I blame them too. Had they not pulled their big-government moves straight outta the Democrat playbook, and instead forged some sort of visible dividing line between the two parties, it would be much harder to lump them into the blame game here.

But where they are now, I guess hardball is the best option for them, regardless of how unpopular it is with the crybabies at NPR and Jizzebel.

Little rays of hope do manage to leak through the neo-con garbage collection of subhumans though, as libertarian views are gaining traction.

But I also blame Democrats. I don't know, one of them being the leader of the free world, a messianic community organizer of sorts, you'd think he'd be able know,  lead, and organize. You'd also think they'd lead by example and embrace Obamacare by actually using it, instead of opting for their cushy government healf care.

Nah, that requires work, effort, and OMG sacrifice; the only work and effort I'm seeing expended are attempts at out-George-Bushing George Bush. And def not seeing any sacrifice.

And this lol move.

What's the takeaway here? Really it's that you're the fuckup. You enabled these bipartisan dipshits to revel in the ignorance of the general populace. You fell victim to wedge issues,  marketing, hype, hope, and bullshit.

But to be fair, put yourself in the shoes of a politician. Or rather read on as I put myself in the shoes of politicians. I would absolutely take lobbist handouts from my buddies at huge insurance companies and Wall Street. I would absolutely pass on a bullshit health care plan for a much better one. I would mos def be firing missiles at people that don't speak my language. I'd probably be doing all the horrible things politicians have been doing for ages, while feeding literal shit to the news-seeking masses.

So while I may be no better than the politicians I despise, in some sort of twisted, almost circular-like crazy logic, I am better than you.