Wednesday, June 4, 2014


Yo it's not even nine in the aye em and I am straight prairie-dogging like a boss.

Not a PUMPY way to start the day, but you know what? The PUMP will get me through. #RealTalk

That said, I went on an awesome two and a half week trip, by plane and train, to Arizona, Colorado, Chicago, and back. Maybe we'll have a little write up on that soon. But not today. Nah, today is all about the PUMP. Not that the trip wasn't PUMPY, it was, but lettuce let tradition dictate how we receive the PUMP UP, and it's gotta be with PUMPY JAMS.

This first PUMPJAM comes to you from the fine people in a band called Martyr AD. It's so heavy and brutal that this low end got my bowels a-rumblin'.

Man, it's finally for real summer, and fun stuff is getting planned like cray. Not to mention that the last I've heard of this Donald Sterling nonsense is just from seeing my last post when I logged into MY BLOG to post this PUMP UP.

This weekend Heckyeahwoman is heading out of town for a couple days, and the only good that will come out of that is her not seeing my embarrassing, but temporary, descent into a buffalo wing-gobbling, biking, unshowered, whiskey drinking weekend warrior shithead. But when she gets back, we have fun stuff going on for the foreseeable future.

Kicking off that foreseeable future is this fast paced brutal JAM of PUMP:

Coming up in mid-June is our wedding anniversary! That should (and will be) a HUMP DAY PUMP UP all to itself. Somehow convincing a total babe to marry me (and stay married to me) will forever be my crowning LIFEPUMP achievement.

Then that weekend a bunch of friends are coming into town for a weekend full of debauchary.

After that, there is a huge local bike race, and that should be a blast. Probably won't be racing, will be busy as PUMP making sure it is awesome for everybody. Funny, I was the race director for a local snowbike and snowshoe race in February, and while I was totally dreading it, it would up being an absolute blast.

After that, we're heading to Michigan for a long weekend of fuckin' freedom and booze.

After that, Minneapolis, here we come as the Rays are coming to town to FUCKING DESTROY THE SHITHEAD VIKINGS/TWINKS WHATEVER.

After that, I turn like 47.

Somewhere in there we'll sneak in a nice dinner on the lake - an awesome gift from my Dad and Stepmom.

We may even try to sneak in a trip to New York City and Boston. Note that as an uncultured rube, I don't believe in big cities or metropolitan areas.

Dogg I got a haircut appointment this Saturday to get that crucial summer cut. Just ordered some sick road bike tires. Gonna throw them shits on my cross bike and ride around all slow and better looking than you. Currently rocking a tight polo right now. And I'm jamming the shit outta Blink-182's Enema of the State - after of course jamming the above PUMPJAMS.

Right now I need you to do this: mainline dark coffee and get PUMPED

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