Wednesday, May 2, 2012


OK, this may be kind of pathetic, but ever since I became a working professional, I've always wanted to play in a work softball league.

And now thanks to Citibank, my dream is a reality! All you fucks out there that are blaming big banks for the housing crisis, what about the little people like me, that are playing on big-bank sponsored softball teams?

What about us?!?!?!

Well get PUMPED because your boi is the MVP of the league! Hitting, fielding, base running, making the pouty face from second base, WE DO IT ALL. Shoot, they even got me doing a little first base coaching.


We had our first doubleheader of the season last Thursday, and despite losing the first game 18-5, the night was a resounding success! Also, fuck you, I accounted for at least 50% of the team's offense, in both games lol, including an inside the park home run in the first.

Thanks throwing errors!

Anyway, I was slapping softballs like mouthy wives and this song was PUMPING in my head, PUMPING ME UP.

From my first at bat in the first game to my last at bat in the second game, it was PURE FUN and PURE PUMP.

Everybody was having a blast, nobody was pissed, people were smilin' and laughin' and my PUMP was at an all time high. The frigid temperatures, the tight muscles, the near strains, pulls, and tears, nah, none of that could hold us back.

Especially in the second game.

Yeah, we had the lead through the first five innings, then of course the other team jumps up by three in the bottom of the sixth. So there we are, top of the seventh, last inning, down by three. At least I get to bat third!

Before I know it, there I am sliding across home, bringing us to within one.

Next up, my homeboy ****, crazy dude, good sized, always a smile on his face, he's gotta do something.


The line drive sails into right, over the deep shortstop, in the hole between right and right-center. He's a bigger dude so he's trucking around the bases, and oh shit, yeah, he just touched third and he's going for it - ohhhhh!!! HERE COMES THE THROW!!!

Oh shit, right to the catcher, perfect throw, **** is close and he knows it. So he dives.

And winds up at a dead stop, belly on the ground, about three feet from home plate.



So close, so much fun.

Can't wait for tomorrow night's game! Also can't wait to listen to the sweet song immediately below!


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