Friday, October 31, 2014

telepathy now!

The other day I read this article, and was amused at this particular author's take on telepathy. More precisely, why he wouldn't necessarily want to read the thoughts of other people. You have to wonder, if telepathy was a thing, would it be selective? Could you only read the minds of those you wish, or would your life be a cacophony of tiny voices, driving you to insanity, at the hand of the inane thoughts of the dullards all around you. His Rachel Jeantel example was spot on.

Sure, if telepathy resulted in the latter, you could go to a quantum physics conference, and from roughly eight in the morning to five in the evening, enjoy the most fascinating thoughts from some of the greatest brains in the world. But once the work day is done, and the bar opens, you likely won't luck out and get treated to Feynman-esque thoughts of playing bongos with hookers in South America; you'd be treated to really smart people and their capacity for depravity and minutiae, much in the same way of their capacity for intellectual stimulation. It's a continuum, friends, good with the bad.

Anyway, rambling thoughts aside, this article was meta-linked in the previous article, and it is an abstract of a Harvard research paper about using the internet, and other technology, to telepath furiously. You can tell it's serious because there are many strings of big words followed immediately by capital letters that are bookended with parentheses. I'm not sure what that means, but I'm guessing it's highly scientific and official. Harvard.

I'm sure I've posted here before my layman, layperson, theory of evolution: as humans, we are evolving into a superior race of cat people, #destiny. My wife (an actual scientist) definitely refutes that. Keep in mind that I have absolutely no evidence beyond thinking Orange Guy is awesome. And hope. But shoot, we've seen what happens when you add a little hope to a little bit of change. Wait, that's not helping my case at all. Either way, this telepathy stuff got me kinda thinking - what if?

What if this computer enabled telepathy became part of evolution? Human evolution is accelerating and the limits of bioengineering and robotics are getting pushed every day. We are constantly improving our knowledge and manipulation of inheritance and gene expression. At some point there's going to be an apex, or more likely, a vortex, into oblivion, you asshole humans.

Imagine one day in the not so distant future, finding a lab subject or two and serving them up a sick speedball of Lamarckian inheritance. It may take a couple generations and a little sci-fi leap of faith miracle action, but here (hear) me out. If you could implant a bio-bluetooth chip in the dna of a couple subjects, and hit that sequence up with the right combo of methyl-whatever to turn it on, and get it to send and receive the transmissions, bam(!), Jean-Baptiste Lamarck would no longer be the bastard child of made up stuff.

If and when telepathy becomes a thing, somebody is bound to hone in on my thoughts. And if you've spent any time at all on this blog, (or if you're telepathic) you already know what the next sentence is gonna say.

I'm sorry.

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