nudes leaked, brah

Nude photos of babes like Jennifer Lawrence and Kirsten Dunst (Ok, semi-babe) recently leaked, and you probably heard about that. But what you probably didn't hear is that nudes of successful singer Jill Scott leaked, and both racism and white privilege are the reasons nobody wants to see them. Most pics on Google Images show her as somebody I would not necessarily want to see naked, but she looks pretty cute here.

See, the white male media establishment has criminally brainwashed us into thinking that only fit, healthy, and attractive people are physically attractive. These racist, sexist, homophobic scumbags have egregiously subjugated so-called standards of beauty to the point where this rape culture in which we live is being promoted everywhere we look, and it is affecting not just our preferences in women, but our treatment of them too.

I can't cross the street without bumping into a beautiful obese woman being victim-shamed for not getting raped because of our now perverted standards of beauty. Racist, rapey white assholes (read: all men) parade around raping only white women because religion. This is reality, folks and I'm not comfortable with it.

Those cracker-jack jerkdudes have tricked me into thinking that what makes my wife so amazing is that she is simply a woman, and not her beauty, intelligence, sense of humor, personality, or awesome smile, as I had previously been led to believe. I've been boondoggled!

To think that I have been so shallow in the past, it's disgusting. Shame on me for not appreciating the physical beauty of the slovenly, the gluttonous, the obese, the lazy. Shame on those of us who live healthy lifestyles and take personal responsibility for health, and not only appreciate, but prefer to associate with other like-minded individuals, regardless of race, color, creed, gender, or sexual orientation. Our empty ideals clearly aren't enough.

We need to open our minds, and truly try to empathize with those not like us, those with less ambition, less drive, lower intelligence. Because, they're the exact same as us. We need to strive to be better. We need to remember that evolution doesn't apply to humans, that science only applies when either white males are to blame (all the time), or when it's convenient.

Say it with me: I refuse to believe that the universe doesn't care.


For the record, so there is no confusion: I would like to formally apologize for being born both white and male. In addition, I now officially condemn my parents for being good parents and for loving me. Further, I now formally rescind my whiteness and masculinity. Going forward, I will be a Mexican woman.