HUMP DAY PUMP UP: CLASSIC PUMPJAMS

The impending weekend got you down? Not too PUMPED about beautiful fall weather and football?

Well turn that frown upside down, friendo, cause the fine folks at HYM dot org got your back.

Well, the first step, slamming as much freshly brewed, strong as fuck coffee is on you. But after that, we got'chu. Crank up that volume and get yourself into a better place.

Imagine this, your boi, the lead author of HYM, LLC, on the drive home from work yesterday, tired, not feelin' a work out, coming home to an empty house, save for our fuzzy, orange cat-son giving me the usual warm greeting.

Still not feeling the work out, but I gotta do it. Begrudgingly I headed downstairs to trudge through 35 mins of brutality. Then it hit me. I need THE PUMP. 

GOTTA HAVE THAT PUMP.

And it was like the purple unicorn that lives under my (sick screened in) porch answered my thoughts and THIS SONG came on:

IT WAS LIKE SOMEBODY CAME DOWN INTO THE BASEMENT AND TOOK OVER MY BRAIN AND FLIPPED THE TURBO SWITCH.

Cause I just dropped to the ground and started BANGING OUT PUSH-UPS. But the funny thing there is that I did so many push-ups that I GOT IMMEDIATELY pissed that I wasn't doing any pull-ups.

So I fuckin' got up and started doing pull-ups.





Wow, getting sweaty and angry. Obvi the focus here has been on getting PUMPED and SWOLE and JACKED beyond belief.

But what about my mind?





Well let's just assume that in the above PUMPJAM homeboy is yelling about his mind, but that's just a metaphor for a .357 magnum. So really he's armed with a handgun. Sounds better, sounds PUMPIER.

And besides, all that mind stuff and being smart and philosophical and wise, save that for Heckyeahwoman, she's the brains and beauty of the operation here, I'm just the brawn.

Take that to heart and PUMP OUT THE LAST HALF OF THIS WEEK LIKE IT EVEN MATTERS IN THE END.

PUMP UP AND PUMP OUT

damn, who that?

The other day, Heckyeahwoman and I were on a minor road trip, and had to stop to get gas. Pretty standard, hit up the first Kwik Trip we saw. Sadly, we were both so stuffed from the monstrous breakfast we crushed an hour earlier, that there was no way we could fit in a hot dog.

While I was pumping gas so furiously that my brow may or may not have furrowed a bit, something caught my attention, out of the corner of my eye.

Mmmmmmmm who that fine woman wandering her fine way up to the gas station? In fact, the exact question I thought to myself was "oh wow, who is that?"

Took but just a second for me to recognize her as my wife.

the hunger games

You seen it? I seen it. Actually, I only half seen it, cause we're about halfway through, so I have no idea how it ends.

A couple years ago, it seemed to have received a lot of hype. Knowing it was based on a book and seeing it's relatively high level of popularity, I just figured it was another Twilight sequel. Not sure how exactly I made those connections, but they were made. So deal.

Anyway, Heckyeahwoman and I popped the Netflix'd dvd in the player and began our Hunger Games mission. What follows are a couple of my in-eloquent thoughts on being roughly halfway through the movie.

1. It's pretty entertaining and compelling. The dystopian future, the vaccuous masses of Hunger Games fans (for which the movie is named), and the caricature-like hosts of the Games paint a bleak picture of our intellectual fate. First thing I thought of was the NFL...on steroids.

2. The plot is a little unsettling for me. The kids killing kids thing. Also, the mid-twentysomethings playing kids. Throughout the entire movie, the premise put just a little bit of a knot in my belly. I know there are like 24 contestants, and probably 23 of them are going to die. Now don't take me for some people-loving nice guy. No, I hate homeless people and criminals just as much as you. It's just a little unsettling.

3.  Heckyeahwoman is fiiiiiiiiiiine. I kept looking over at her thinking, DAAAAAAMMMMMMNNNN WHOOOO DAT. That happens almost every movie though. #would

4. There is a sequel. I have no idea about it, but that means that the original must have done well enough at the box office for the producers to fire up HG2. Wonder if the next year's Hunger Games will be the plot for the second one.

NFL Predictions

First game of the season: Denver over Baltimore, 27-24.

AFC

North: New England, maybe Buffalo will surprise some people?

East: Baltimore, though I would love to see Cleveland.

West: Denver, sadly, Kansas City gets lost in the for the upper level of wild card mediocrity.

South: Houston, but Indianapolis is creeping.

Wild Cards: Cincinnati and Indianapolis.

Playoffs: Baltimore over Cincinnati, Houston over Indianapolis.

Divisional: Houston over New England, Denver over Baltimore.

Conference: Houston over Denver.

NFC

North: Green Bay, not even close.

East: Dallas, eh, who else?

West: Seattle, San Francisco are hangin' real tight to their nut hairs, and St. Louis are subsequently hanging real tight to San Fran's nut hairs. And Arizona, with their D, is a-swingin real firmly from St Louie's sack. This division is going to be the NFL version of the AL East in the MLB - brutal.

South: Atlanta, but New Orleans are going to give them a run. Matchups should be a shootout.

Wild Cards: San Fran and New Orleans.

Playoffs: San Fran over Dallas, Atlanta over New Orleans.

Divisional: Seattle over Atlanta, San Fran over Green Bay

Conference: Seattle over San Fran

SUPER BOWEL: Seattle over Houston

I really hate to pick anybody over Green Bay because I think they have a legit shot at the Super Bowl, but for now, their D and O-line are too questionable. This really could be Houston's year to get to that next level...only to lose the Super Bowl haha.

HUMP DAY PUMP UP IS BACK

And why are we back?

Because WE CAN'T STOP (THE AWESOME)





Love this jam. The dude's deep voice acts as a PRE-PUMP for the insanely catchy synth-line in the chorus. THIS PUMP PUMPS ME UP SO MUCH!

Hit the record store the other day, snagged the new Vampire Weekend jam (HUGE PUMP), grabbed Bright Eyes' 'I'm Wide Awake" ('NOTHER HUGE PUMP).

Oh dog, I also grabbed 'Screamin' with the Deadguy Quintet' for $3! Already own it on cd, but awesome album for three bones, don't mind if I do. MONSTROUS PUMP RIGHT CHAIR.

But check this out, I bought a cd. Yes, Drug Church's new one, 'Paul Walker'. This album smokes.

Don't believe me? Click play and get PUMPED.





This next one sounds a bit like Snapcase. And that's not a bad thing.

Cause if it's not a bad thing, it must be a good thing. And due to the laws of physics, if it's a good thing, it must be FULL OF PUMP.

Yep, it is.





Wow, it feels good to see the first HUMP DAY PUMP UP in almost a year. Feel the PUMP.

Embrace the PUMP.

PUMP THE PUMP.

Strife - Torn Apart / Labor Day PUMP

Now that we're semi-back-in-action, let's get this Labor Day weekend kicked off with a MONSTROUS PUMP.

Today that MONSTROUS PUMP comes from an old standby, a classic MONSTROUS PUMP deliverer, a dependable bringer of the PUMP, a band that went on hiatus for over ten years after releasing a MONSTROUS PUMP of an entire album, then released another MONSTROUS PUMP of an entire album in late 2012.

For real, if you're PUMPING this jam and NOT floorpunching the family dog all weekend, you're Labor Daying it wrong.


 

Me? I'll be floorpunching with the in-laws all weekend as my wife's sister is getting married. Should be a rager in the scorching heat. Oh shit, and that reminds me - I built a sick cornhole set up for the wedding, I'll try to get some pics up next week.

Bike Thievery begets Bike Thievery

Usually violence begets violence, but here we have bike thievery granting a short reprieve for said violence.

Long story short, a chick has her new bike stolen, bike-stealer posts an ad on craigslist - for the bike,  homegirl goes to "purchase" it, and on the test ride, she split.

Pretty awesome. So awesome in fact, that the story had me putting myself in her position, wishing I could do something that awesome. But that would require my bike getting stolen, and then essentially hitting the lottery by coming across a craigslist ad for it. So yeah, I hope my bike does NOT get stolen.

MSN has a sick link to the story right here.

What's the takeaway here? Even though bad things happen all the time, and never stop happening, sometimes good things happen. But they usually don't.

Woman and her bike: