HUMP DAY PUMP UP: START TODAY!

It's been a minute since the last HDPU. And that's not right. We're here to remedy that. See the below sick spread of PUMPJAMS.

You ever read the news? Probably not, you illiterate bastard, but that's why you're here. So here's a quick recrap of the last week: an NBA owner reconfirmed his asshole status with an unbelievable racist rant, some of those offended offered up responses that in some weird way justify that idiot's views (we're looking at you Snoop Lion/Dogg).

So yeah, it was a bad time to be PUMPED.

Let's change that!

Donald Sterling, you should know better than sharing your shitty views with the world. On audiotape, no less.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THE THINGS WE SAY! A CUTTING WORD CAN RUIN DAYS!





Look at that badass live-action cover shot. If that's not enough to get you PUMPED RIGHT NOW, then y'all better listen again.

Real quick though Donald, I GUESS IT'S YOUR RIGHT TO BE PROUD THAT YOU'RE WHITE, but let me ask you this, ARE YOU HERE FOR THE MUSIC, OR JUST TO PICK FIGHTS!?





In non-basketball news, the Brewers are off to the best start in baseball ever! If they keep up the streak, they'll go 162-0! The only undefeated team in the history of professional sports. We're already looking forward to the post season, and most pundits have the Crew winning the championship over the Vikings.

(Eat shit, Vikings fans)

Sadly, the Rays are sucking it up, which is totes unPUMPY, but my son is an adorable ball of orange fuzz that purrs a lot, and well, MY TRUE COMPASSION IS FOR ALL LIVING THINGS NOT JUST THOSE THAT ARE CUTE.

That's not totally true.






Quick little work story here. I had my one-year review last week. Killed it. BAM. As the company grows, they asked me about changing my title to better reflect what I do, yeah whatevs, just gotta keep it baller. So I shot over a list of like twelve possible titles I could live with.

Among the declined:
PUMP Director
Director of the PUMP
Client PUMP Strategist
PING PONG CHING CHONG PUMPMASTER
Grandmother with AIDS
Curator of THE PUMP

We settled on Business Development Manager

If there's one thing you walk away with this morning, slam a shot of coffee and GO FINISH THAT GODDAMN WORK PROJECT YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING OFF! LET'S START TODAY!

HUMP DAY PUMP UP

Recently I had the joy of viewing the below video. In it, Boggie, a Hungarian singer, goes through transformation with a photoshop-like alien technology tool from the future, and her appearance changes throughout.

The video has gained some attention as it has been featured all over the interweb and on the facebook pages of many idiots.

While her attempt to skewer a culture that demands unattainable and unreasonable standards in beauty is lollable, it seems we are not appreciating enough what gave her the soapbox from which to preach: her voice. She has a great voice and this song is awesome. What's not PUMPY about that!?

NOTHING!

IT'S SUPER PUMPY!





Kinda funny that in her album cover, she looks more like what she does at the end of the video:






But who cares!

Because it gets PUMPIER!

Yep, heckyeahman.com, llc will be representing itself at a legislative meeting in Madison, WI...wait, will be? I mean, we CURRENTLY ARE! That's right, your favorite shithead is rubbing elbows with the political elite of Wisconsin.

As you read this, I am out and about FRACKING with the governor. We got all geared up, are facing the cold, and FRACKING the shit outta south-central Wisconsin. We'll probably get so carried away with all the FRACKING, high-fiving, bro-ing down, and what not that I bet I accidentally FRACK somebody!

In all seriousness, look for me to come back a psycho anti-drug, jesus-freak, FRACKMONSTER.

DANZIG PUMP

Forget what you heard about Glenn Danzig being a washed up turd.

Because in his prime, there wasn't a harder rocker.

Ever been to a strip club? If some filthy skank gonna grind on me, I need to have this anthem playing.






Feel the slow burn of She Rides, as she rides, heh, yafeelmeh? Lol @ that mediocre ass shaking it in an unsexy manner to kick off the video. Almost drained the PUMP right out of the JAM. BUT NOT QUITE.

Sometimes you gotta PUMP it down to PUMP it up, namean? Mr. Danzig hain't afraid to showcase the pipes. Or the guns.




You know, just between you and I, I was torn between this jam and Sistinas. Two great, slower Danzig tunes putting his vocals on full display. Go ahead, click that hyperlinked embedded link that I magically hyperlinked to be embedded in the word "Sistinas" and do yoseff a favor and get maximum enjoyment and PUMP out of this here #DANZIGPUMP.

I remember like it was yesterday - I ordered the two CD set, the Lost Tracks of Danzig. And while there were quite a few stinkers on the two discs, the first disc kicks off with the following jam. And I can't think of a PUMPIER way to get the festivities STARTED.







JOIN ME FOR THE PUMP JOURNEY CULMINATING IN AN EPIC 41 MINUTE DANZIG VHS VIDEO TRANSLATED DIGITALLY FOR THE TECHNOLOGY GENERATION AND COMPUTERS:




One more DANZIGPUMP: I own the actual VHS! Thanks Heckyeahwoman!

AM I DEMON? GOTTA KNOW.

AM I PUMPED? GOTTA BE.

HUMP DAY PUMP UP

Didn't even mean to get so PUMPED today.

But then I got an IM at work. For those of us in the unknow - an IM is an INSTANT MESSAGE. #Technology

The long and short of it is, this lady at work heard a certain song on her drive in. An earworm. And she shared the glorious news with me, the Bringer of the PUMP.

What song was it?

Here's a clue...and it's a real PUMPER. A tune so PUMPY and so catchy that you will be forced to sing along in a PUMPY manner.





Oh, that's so 2012? Too GODPUMP BAD, MOTHERPUMPER.

It's cold out, and in a couple hours, it won't be. We are fighting winter here, and we're winning. If that's not reason to get PUMPED, then I don't know what is.

And cause I'm in a PUMPY MOOD right meow, here are some more untapped PUMPJAMS, PUMPGEMS, to get you through the rest of this week.




Oh you think I'm nuts cause I went from Carly Rae Jepson to Rancid? Well my friend, that PUMP can be elusive, and we're not one to discriminate here. (Haha actually we are), but when it comes to the PUMP, and getting PUMPED UP, we have to be open minded. BUT THOSE ARE THE ONLY TIMES YOLO




Let me ask you this: are you here to pass the time, or are you here to kick the shit out of the rest of the week and have the best weekend ever?

If it's the former, please reread, rewatch, and relisten to the above PUMPMATERIAL. If the latter, PUMP YEAH and PUMP ON, friendo.

HUMP DAY PUMP UP: CLASSIC PUMPJAMS

The impending weekend got you down? Not too PUMPED about beautiful fall weather and football?

Well turn that frown upside down, friendo, cause the fine folks at HYM dot org got your back.

Well, the first step, slamming as much freshly brewed, strong as fuck coffee is on you. But after that, we got'chu. Crank up that volume and get yourself into a better place.

Imagine this, your boi, the lead author of HYM, LLC, on the drive home from work yesterday, tired, not feelin' a work out, coming home to an empty house, save for our fuzzy, orange cat-son giving me the usual warm greeting.

Still not feeling the work out, but I gotta do it. Begrudgingly I headed downstairs to trudge through 35 mins of brutality. Then it hit me. I need THE PUMP. 

GOTTA HAVE THAT PUMP.

And it was like the purple unicorn that lives under my (sick screened in) porch answered my thoughts and THIS SONG came on:

IT WAS LIKE SOMEBODY CAME DOWN INTO THE BASEMENT AND TOOK OVER MY BRAIN AND FLIPPED THE TURBO SWITCH.

Cause I just dropped to the ground and started BANGING OUT PUSH-UPS. But the funny thing there is that I did so many push-ups that I GOT IMMEDIATELY pissed that I wasn't doing any pull-ups.

So I fuckin' got up and started doing pull-ups.





Wow, getting sweaty and angry. Obvi the focus here has been on getting PUMPED and SWOLE and JACKED beyond belief.

But what about my mind?





Well let's just assume that in the above PUMPJAM homeboy is yelling about his mind, but that's just a metaphor for a .357 magnum. So really he's armed with a handgun. Sounds better, sounds PUMPIER.

And besides, all that mind stuff and being smart and philosophical and wise, save that for Heckyeahwoman, she's the brains and beauty of the operation here, I'm just the brawn.

Take that to heart and PUMP OUT THE LAST HALF OF THIS WEEK LIKE IT EVEN MATTERS IN THE END.

PUMP UP AND PUMP OUT

HUMP DAY PUMP UP: REAPER HARDCORE

You like angry music that yells a lot?

Start lurkin' Reaper Records then.

Fire & Ice just put out a real fucking barnburner in Not of this Earth.

Don't believe me?



WHAAAAT THE FERRRRRRK

Yeah, good luck putting this jam on full volume and not just moshing the shit out of your car on the drive to work. It's like, sometimes I wish my windows weren't so tinted so that people can see me slam dancing and finger-pointing in my ride at 7:20 am.

No kidding, two Mondays ago, I two-stepped all the way from my car in the parking lot to my cubicle.

And yeah, that included me going through the security line at the office.

Have you ever seen an asshole with a great haircut just spinkick though the metal detector at work? Well, in an office of about a thousand, many did. And many lol'd.

SMASH YOUR CROWN




I love this album.

Half an hour of upbeat, super dancey kinda hardcore, what more do you want? While a couple of the songs feature some great, non-traditionally hardcore riffs, even the more standard hardcore-styled guitar-work found on the rest of the songs manages to keep things interesting. On one of their previous releases, they incorporated a less distorted guitar and I like that they're not afraid to do things a little differently. Not sure if that was on purpose or due to recording limitations, but I would have loved to hear some of that on this new one.

But don't worry, even though these dudes are from Virginia, they sound like they could be mashing skulls in New York with the Cro-Mags.

Really the only bummer here is that sometimes the vocal patterns and lines are kind of corny, but everything is honestly just too catchy to sweat. But mega-ultra bonus points for the vocalist using the mosh call out, "SOCK IT TO ME!" in the third track, Helpless.

Def love that.

ALSO LOVE THIS:




I don't know, I've been jocking Reaper Records pretty hard lately - this might become a weekly HUMP DAY PUMP UP for a couple weeks, cause they put out some great records that I've been PUMPing pretty hard.

But what about you? You don't care about a bunch of twenty something dudes yelling at you through your speakers. That's cool. But I bet you do care about having an awesome rest of the week and I'm going to eat so much corned beef and cabbage and carrots this week HOLY CRAP I'M PUMPED!

HUMP DAY PUMP UP: EL CREEPO!

The other day, I happened upon a band called El Creepo!. Yes, the exclamation point is part of the band's name.

For the most part we've got acoustic rock, with a few peppy jams mixed in. But the vocals, almost whispered at times, combined with the fucked up lyrics, give it kind of a subtle unsettling vibe. Whatever that means.





Love the part about the Jonestown holiday lol.

Check out this little uptempo acoustic jam featuring super PUMPY synths bouncing around. And considering we're in April, you gotta get PUMPED about super PUMPY synths.




In other PUMP news, we have two (2) of our friends coming into town on Thursday night. They are tentatively planning on staying until Monday, but I'm not sure they'll last that long lol. See the kicker is, it'll be the two of them, both female, Heckyeahwoman, and ME.

All in one tiny ass little house, with one bathroom. Truly pity she who uses the turlet after me.

But whatevs, we're gettin' ready for their impending arrival.

Shower cameras mounted.

Creep-mode dialed in.

Full-on cleaning almost completed.

Ladies, we are ready for you! And we're super PUMPED for this weekend!