Wednesday, July 18, 2012

thank you chick-fil-a

Thank you Chick-fil-A for the delicious chicken sandwiches.

Thank you for the insane waffle fries.

Thank you for the super clean bathroom that I puked in one morning when my brother came to visit and we mixed a shitload of fruit-flavored malt beverages together the night prior.

Actually, in the south, where hardly anything in public is clean, thank you for being super clean.

Thank you for the constantly smiling and polite employees.

Thank you for serving tasty fast food with out the shitty fast food vibe.

Unthank you for not having ANY GODDAMN Chick-fil-A restaurants where I live.

Eat shit punknews.org for whining about a business because they're not a fucking walking goddamn advertisement for socialism. No kidding, they posted a link on their site, asking you to "read this before eating at Chick-fil-A." I thought it was going to be some shit about the bigwigs at Chick-fil-A like eating babies or something.

Nope, just a reasonable article about how the head honcho believes in some fairy tale shit and tries to (actually does) incorporate that into running a very successful (and very awesome) business. What punknews is merely implying is so offensive that I actually just donated $100 to Fred Phelps.

Thanks for the warning though, twinks!

I swear, the fucktards over at punknews would be the first in line to support a business that serves shit on a stick with a PBR logo before they'd purchase a gilded avian delicacy from a couple honest, fair Christians.

If it takes a goddamn Christian work ethic to finally do something right, then maybe we'd all be better served by taking a page from their book. No pun intended, either.

So yeah, I've been drinking fermented CranRaspberry Ocean Spray and I'm a little buzzed; end rant.

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