Friday, June 29, 2012

a casual approach

I'll just come right out and say it. I take a very casual approach to not shitting my pants.

Almost non-committal, even.

Oddly, this profound thought occurred to me while I was urinating at the urinal at the work. Note, not urinating ON the urinal like many who came before me that day. No kidding, there was actually urine all over the TOP of the urinal. And of course there were puddles all over the floor immediately below the wall-suspended urinal.

"You people are fucking animals," was my first thought. "I take a very casual approach to not shitting my pants," was my immediate second thought.

Anyway, what is this casual approach?

Eating healthy.

Yeah, since I've been eating a lot healthier, I suffer a lot less from the explosive diarrhea that used to ruin my immediate-post-dinner experiences for years. Shit, now I can crush Indian buffets and not even think about making the brown. Until the next morning. But haha then yeah, it's ON.

The old me would have cried myself all the way to the men's room.

Not me. Not now.

Nah, I can eat and not worry about literally crapping myself.

So what's the takeaway here? Eat healthier and you won't have to nearly shit your pants at last eight times a week.

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