Monday, February 13, 2012

weekend wrap up

This weekend was relatively uneventful. Nothing too crazy, though we did go see our friend's band play in a coffee shop. They were delightfully folksy and sounded right at home there. Great time.

And their set included a Maroon 5 cover. Impossible to go wrong with that.

Then afterwards, I crushed 10 wings and some fried mushrooms while Heckyeahwoman struggled with her delicious burger.

But besides the great tunes, the real highlight of the night came for me about midway through the second set.

I think it was during an Indigo Girls jam when I got up to take a leak. Just a leak, man, didn't expect to have my mind blown.

And I totes don't mean by someone leaving an unflushed wicked brown coil in the terlet. Nah, it actually has to do with the opposite: cleanliness and proper hygiene. Cause if you know me at all, you know I hate filthy, worthless, dirty shitheads. And the only thing that PUMPS me up more than people exercising and eating people being clean.

So yeah, the bathroom, right next to the soap dispenser was a printed-out sign instructing each bathroom patron how to master the fine art of hand-washing.

Since my iPhone first gen first won't let me post pictures online, you will have to settle for an approximate recreation of the sign; my commentary is in italics:

WASHING YOUR HANDS furiously bolded and super underlined for emphasis

1. Use water as hot as you can stand or at least 100 degrees. Yeah, it says 100 degrees, but it's pretty obvious the author means scalding.
2. Soap hands and lower forearms. Don't forget the lower forearms!
3. Scrub for 10-15 seconds. No wet n rinse bullshit here.
4. Rinse. Yeah, rinse your hands, you assholes.
5. Dry with paper towel. And DO NOT recycle it.
6. Avoid re-contamination of hands by using paper towel or other barrier to turn off faucet handles. LOVE THIS!

Read it. Savor it.

Complete directions on how to wash your hands, unbelievable. I just love number 6, I do that all the time, but more so when opening the bathroom door to exit.

Now I'm not sure if that particular establishment is really that serious about cleanliness, or if they just think that little of their customers. Either way, it's hard not to support both schools of thought here.

Sunday was pretty standard: exercise, clean/laundry/get loaded. Worth noting though is this chick at the gym. I'd say I've been seeing her at least a couple times a week over the last year or so. And she's gained weight.

Yeah, I know right. Like, she used to be in relatively decent shape, but now she's totally rocking the spare tire. What the hell is wrong with you? How do you exercise semi-regularly and still get fatter?

If I was a lesser man, I'd tell her to her face what a fucking epic fail that is.

If I was a lesser man, I wouldn't have kicked our three-legged cat right in the gut only once.

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