Wednesday, January 4, 2012

HDPU: POLITICAL PUMP

What with the eve of the Iowa cockasses upon us, I thought it appropriate to whip out that always lovable, always reliable, POLITICAL PUMP!

Remember when the atheist messiah was elected president by something insane like 80-90% of African Americans?

Remember that?

Well as racist as those voters were then, there was a silver lining!

And it comes in the form of a huge POLITICAL PUMP:

Obama’s policies have been far worse for black people than Bush’s policies. Black unemployment in 2007 was just over 8%, yet under Obama unemployment in the black community has doubled. If anybody has a reason not to vote for Obama, it’s black people.

We hopin', we changin', we gettin' all kinds of PUMPED UP 'round here! What? As a white dude, you think that I'm going to be pissed about African-Americans installing media-approved (and sponsored), cultural, widespread racism on a huge level?

PUMP NO! You shoulda seen me back in '92 with my David Duke t-shirts!

Don't worry, we got A BIPARTISAN BUTT-PUMP RIGHT HERE! While Barry was doing his best George Dubya impression for four years, we got Rick "that fucked up, creepy face of mine is leading the I'm-a-goddamn-weirdo-charge" Sanitorum trying to capitalize on his fifteen minutes of fame as we're seeing him make one final, yet feeble, push for fourth place in Iowa.



Politics aside, there is something wrong with that weirdo.

You know we're not gonna do a POLITICAL PUMP without a plug for my man, Ron Paul! Many times Dr. Paul has been lauded for his loyal, deep following, with the pundits crediting his strong presence on social media sites.

Actual substance and integrity aside, the picture below demonstrates the good doctor taking that extra step, to really reach out to that 80-90% of a certain demographic, through no fault of his own, that he just couldn't reach last time around.

The following picture shows him really appealing to the academic-elite progressive crowd that hates nothing more than their fellow crackers. Next thing you know homeboy might be sportin' a huge "D" pin on his lapel.






















Hey PUMP YOU, I'm all about SELLING OUT IN THE NAME OF THE PUMP!

Listen, while yeah, your vote doesn't mean shit, if you live in Iowa, and I'm sorry if you do, still go out and vote. Feel better about yourself. Pretend that you made a difference.

But if you're gonna vote for anybody but Ron Paul, maybe actually just stay home ;)

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