Monday, January 2, 2012

great commentary

Yeah so I hope everybody had a great NYE with plenty of the three b's: blow, bitches, and buffalo wings.

Some of you don't know me in real life, so you'd probably be surprised to learn that I'm a pretty timid dipshit that is pretty much afraid of his own shadow. Surely you can imagine my terror when I learn't that our plans consisted of going out for dinner at an Indian restaurant with our good friends, and then heading back to their crib for a crazy NYE party.

See, no matter how much I love it, Indian food usually gives me insane 'rrhea, and I am very nervous about FUCKING SHITTING anywhere other than my own toilet.

As luck would have it, I ate a sensible amount of my moderately spicy dish, had leftovers, and was able to enjoy the rest of the night in furious HYM fashion (titties, whiskey, drugs, etc.), sans the usual scorched-porcelain/anus-excretions.

We'll have more holiday stories later, but for now, lettuce turn our attention to a recent comment on one of my older posts.

Christ, back in October, I posted a few generalizations about various fans of certain authors and other things. Imagine the smile on my face when I see, a couple months later, my friend *** dropping some knowledge in the comments section.

Read on, friends:

Anonymous said...

some facts about jack kerouac. he died at 47 BECAUSE HE WAS SO FUCKING DRUNK ALL THE FUCKING TIME. he also did shit tons of drugs. he wrote "on the road" on one giant roll of paper in three weeks. in on the road when theyre in mexico they totally take over a whorehouse for an afternoon, smoking a joint so big its rolled in a BROWN PAPER BAG. in desolation angels he writes about fucking the shit out of a 14yrold hoer and then covering his junk in magical anti-skank creme so his wang doesnt fall off. and so on, and so forth. anyway, pretty good reads overall.

kurt vonnegut is too optimistic/humanitarian by far, but that doesn't mean you cant enjoy, for instance, time travel, aliens, and PTSD in "slaughterhouse five" or various doomsday scenarios like ice-9 and the the remnants of humanity evolving into flatulent seal-like creatures. or how about (from wikipedia entry on breakfast of champions): "Dwayne reads the novel, which purports to be a message from the Creator of the Universe explaining that the reader - in this case Dwayne - is the only individual in the universe with free will. Everyone else is a robot. Dwayne believes the novel to be factual and immediately goes on a violent rampage, severely beating his son, his lover, and nine other people before being taken into custody." best if read before age 16 (which is invariably the case).

palahniuk: is a douche, mental masturbation for 15yrold boys. "i hate my dad, the modern world is really getting me down, im so edgy that high school kids might punch each other or put their asshole on pool filters or whatever the fuck"

network tv: waste of life, try sleeping, fucking, or playing russian roulette as a solo drinking game instead of watching anything on tv.

woohoo im commenting, look at me go!!!

Considering the expertise *** displayed in the area now known as "douchey authors", I have turned over the password to this blog and he will now be fully responsible for carrying on the fine literary tradition at HYM.

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