So last week my desktop damn near died. You probably read about it on the HDPDown. If not, do it here.
Anyway, looking at the potentiality of owning my very first laptop, I wanted to go shopping to get a feel for what I could possibly be buying. And because I'm old. Don't worry, I did a bunch of research on the fancy internet so I had an idea of what I should be looking for.
What we'll be reading here next is a brief account of each of my excursions into the real world, into society, to physically check out some laptops. From the depressing lows of my first shopping jaunt, to the soaring highs of my final shopping escapade, come with me into the wicked underbelly of laptop sales at electronics stores.
Best Buy was the first place I hit. A pretty logical place to start, right? Yeah, I though so too. Then I entered the computer section. Nary a blue-polo'd nerd around. Toshibas, Dells, Sonys, Samsungs, oh my. After looking around longingly for an employee, I employed my next trick, sure to get the attention of the next portly internerd ready to sell me an e-machine: progressively typing on the keyboard louder and louder until I'm approached.
Sadly, and unsurprisingly, this didn't work. After looking around for about 20 mins, and with nobody to answer my questions, or SELL ME A FUCKING COMPUTER, I split. It was fucking raining out too, boo.
Over the weekend I had more time to get my notebook shop on.
Saturday afternoon I popped by OfficeMax. And I thought getting somebody to talk to me was tough at Best Buy - one must be careful what one wishes for. After a while of the same schtick I employed at Best Buy, I did find one employee. Who referred me to another employee. Who referred me to another employee.
An employee that turned out to be a little shithead punk that I wouldn't even buy a pack of gum from.
Long story short, I just wanted to check out a specific computer because it had a specific audio system that I wanted to hear, you know, see if it really did sound better than the typical laptop audio. AND THE MOTHERFUCKER TOLD ME HE COULDN'T SHOW ME BECAUSE THE COMPUTERS WERE ONLY ON DISPLAY TO SHOW CANNED, GENERIC DEMOS. Like, that special audio system, Beats Audio, is a major selling point of that multimedia-focused laptop!
After he informed me of the frustratingly funny news, I asked him if he was serious. An affirmative response prompted me to laugh and tell him that's awesome. Then it prompted me to head to Old Navy and buy a dope new shirt. #haha
I went back to Best Buy because as luck would have it, I overlooked a laptop on my first trip that I decided I needed to check out. Turns out, the highlight of that visit was actually in the musical instruments department. Yeah, your boi jumped on a $6600 drum kit and wailed away for a good 15 minutes lol. I'm outtie.
Third and final big-box electronic computer selling store: Office Depot! Yes. No. Wow. The parking lot was barren. Wasteland, dystopia, scary. Inside the store wasn't too much better. But the manager there was a good guy, and after talking to me for a few minutes, pointed me exactly to the two models that I wanted to check out. And holy shit were they on sale, a sale that ended that day. Ruh-Roh! #ClassicSalesTrickOfInstillingUrgency
Long story short, I got some more info, played around with them, went home and did a little more research to see which one would be better, made a decision, confirmed with Heckyeahwoman, creeped back to THE DEPOT, and bought a fuckin' laptop, dogs.
Lol, when I was checking out, the dude asked me if my wife gave me a limit, and I think he was surprised with my answer: "actually, she'll probably tell me that I should have spent more and bought more computer lol." AND Yeah, that lol was def in there, from one grown ass man to another.
But let's be real here - the only reason I wanted a laptop, besides Heckyeahwoman telling me repeatedly that I should buy one, is so I can go to a coffee shop and surf the interwebs just like all the cool people. #shaggyhair #doubleicedmochalatte'spresso
But what about the rest of the weekend? Ha, fuggit, I was laptoppin' from Saturday evening on. BOOM, I bet we can only imagine what this week's HDPU will be all about.