Monday, October 17, 2011

you're gay

It's 2011.

People, myself included, still use gay and faggot and other gay slurs in derogatory fashion. I try to wean those words out of my vocabulary, but they sneak in every once in a while. But this isn't about me. This is about those guys whose go-to rebuttal is YOU FUCKING FAGGOT or WHY ARE YOU SUCH A FAGGOT or YOU'RE CLEARLY GAY.

Whether it's really meant to be a stinging insult (really, that's the worst thing you can think of?) or just a playful dig at a pal, repeated homosexual name calling is still unsettling. And not just because it's mind-boggling that anybody cares whether somebody is gay or straight.

I'm guessing that a person's interest in another's sex-life stems from a lack of interest in their own. Or maybe they're the parents of a slutty teenager. Then it's OK I guess.

It's like if you say something enough, you start to believe it. Almost as if some subconscious, wanton, lust-filled wish is prompting a man to consistently call his friend gay. To want his friend to be gay.

To need his friend to be gay.

Just want to announce again that there is nothing wrong with being gay. In fact, in some circles, being gay is better than being heterosexual, and often times glorified. But that's usually the circles where there's a lot of deeply embedded self-hating. At HYM LLC, we don't care about sexual orientation, nah, we just want to start our day with a really strong cup of coffee and then go from there. And if our day lead us into hating people for ridiculous reasons, hey, that's the way the cookie crumbles.

But think about this for a minute, your bro constantly accusing you of being homosexual.

Watching the game with a buncha bros? Chances are the same guy called you gay a minimum of 15 times. And I don't think your Ed Hardy graphic tee is to blame, buddy.

At a bachelor party with strippers all over and your buddy just bought you a lapdance and calls you gay when you politely decline because it's gross as fuck when some slore stripper puts her just-motorboated-by-another-buddy-and-spittle-covered titties in your face. He called you a fag to your face, to your buddies, to the stripper and in his own head dozens of times. And he secretly wants to fuck you.

Thanksgiving with the family, and your weird half-step-cousin calls you gay because don't want to play another six hours of Dungeons & Dragons in the attic with no lights on. He's been thinking about you every holiday for the last ten years, bro.

You are now a piece of meat. Just when you thought you were surrounded by your closest friends and family, probably trying to scam on chicks, maybe one of your friends wishes he could be scamming on you. Now you know how chicks feel, when they just want to have a fun girls night out, and there are dicks lurking around every corner.

It's just weird that a dude takes it as an insult when it's really just an odd declaration of his pal's desire for a male friend to be attracted to men, possibly even him.

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