Friday, October 14, 2011

trip to petco

So this past Monday night Heckyeahwoman and I found ourselves at Petco.

I should probably mention that we were there shopping for a cat harness. Because we have a cat leash, but no collar or harness. Also, we have a cat - two, in fact. You can go ahead and do the math.

cat + leash + harness = going for a walk!

Yeah, we wanted to take Orange Guy for a walk. Outside.

We're that married couple.

But back to Petco. It was almost surreal. Odd, cause it started out just like any other trip there - run in, get what we need, and bust. It was when we were waiting in line to check out that things got weird.

To our left, we notice a little commotion, just some dipshit trying to corral his dog so he can jump into the checkout line. And I didn't notice IT right away, all I saw was dude pulling his emaciated puppy across the floor. Then he went on to explain to the dude in front of him that, "she's really skinny, but completely healthy." Supermodel cocaine logic, whatever. But what I missed though was the reason the dude had to pull the dog in the first place.

The dog was shitting.

In the store.

And he left behind a half-banana-sized doggy untreat.

The dog wasn't the only one leaving that brown nugget, the owner of his emaciated pup unflinchingly did too. Didn't notify an employee, didn't ask for a paper towel. Just stood there like nothing happened. Like the dog he voluntarily brought into the store DIDN'T JUST FUCKING SHIT ON THE FLOOR.

I should have known by his stupid goatee that he was a fucking asshole.

For all we know, that turd is still there.

The fuckery doesn't stop there friends, no, once that sitch calmed itself down, we were checking out, only to see the lady that was previously ahead of us, steer her cart out the door, screech it around in a sudden u-turn, and storm back towards the cashier. But she didn't go to the cashier that had 30 seconds ago checked her out.

Either because my menacing look deterred her from interrupting my checkout experience, or because the cashier was new and was having problems getting the scanner to accept her $3 off coupon, so he had to call over a more experienced cashier to handle that serious business.

Anyway, she went to the other cashier, barged in front of a waiting customer and said she didn't get her $3 off and she was "frustrated." Then abruptly declared, "whatever, nevermind."

Let the little things go, lady.

What a psycho, she definitely had an angry, mid-life crisis haircut of rage.

After paying, we left the Petco without incident, got in the car and saw her approach hers.

Yeah, her and her early 00's Lexus acting like the world revolves around her. I've never seen somebody so angrily load a couple bags of dog food into a trunk before.

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