Sorry to all you sports-haters out there, but when the PUMP is there, you gotta take it, get PUMPED, and run with it.
Normally I would have loved to post the diff'rent sections of the following video separately. But a couple things happened. Mainly, I couldn't find (didn't bother) each part that I wanted.
So you get all three in one. In addition to some ridiculous three-plus minute advertisement for a who-knows-what video game thing.
Check this out. This weekend was an awesome weekend for sports. Unless you're a Detroit sports fan.
First, on Saturday night, the Tigers got ELIMINATED (yeah, greasy bowel movement-style) from the American League Championship Series! You know, the playoff series where the winner heads to the WORLD SERIES!
Not only that, but the Rangers FUCKING CRUSHED them, 15-5. I was so PUMPED during that game, that I could hardly play Uno with my wife and in-laws, while the game was on in the background.
It gets better. On Sunday, the Lions - one of two undefeated teams left in the NFL (Green Bay Packers) - lost. But they didn't just lose, they COLLAPSED under the weight of a SURGING SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS TEAM.
Now there is only one (1) undefeated team left, and I think we all know who it is! GREEN & GOLD PUMP CAUSE THE LIONS STILL SUCK!
Watch below as the 49ers seal the victory with a go-ahead touchdown with like two minutes left. Two more defensive stops later, and the game is over! NFC NORTH PUMP!
And God, it just doesn't quit. The 49ers coach, Jim Harbaugh, was PUMPED AS FERK and ran over to shake the Lions coach, Jim Schwartz's hand, as is customary after a game. Only Little Schwartz didn't think the handshake was gracious enough so he had an epic meltdown and chased Harbaugh down the sideline, ramming Harbaugh with his shoulder, cussing at him, and having to be restrained by security and other players.
Then in the post-game conferences both coaches addressed the issue. Harbaugh went on to playfully mock the situation, while Schwartz started making things up.
Hilarious when Schwartz said he didn't expect the obscenity after getting "shoved" out of the way. Because he was the one that uttered the F-bomb immediately after the encounter lol.
It's like cuffing your ugly ass kid up, and then saying, "I didn't expect the child abuse".
Watch all this shit unfold and prepare for PUMP UP.
Also, notice number 87 for the Lions, Pettigrew, big ups to him for catching a touchdown in the game and helping me win one fantasy football match-up, while also helping me lose the match-up in my other league. Bittersweet PUMP!
Also, lol @ Bill Cowher muttering "I would have done the same thing" during the video, then siding with Schwartz during the analysis, after. Cowher, you're a fucking chump. All he ever did was act tough, talk over people and yell. Fucking Charles Bronson wannabe halfwit. And Charles Bronson didn't even have to yell or talk over people to look tough, he just was tough and had a mustache. Great idea for next week's PUMP!
And on an UNPUMP note, the Brewers got CRUSHED by a bunch of overachieving dipshits that are collectively known as the St. Louis Cardinals. And they will not be heading to the World Series this year. Tony LaRussa is such a cockpit.
But the Brew Crew did record their best regular season record ever! PUMP!
A lot of Brewer fans got loaded! PUMP!
And they got to the National League Championship Series! PUMP!
And Prince Fielder is a money-hungry dipshit that choked hard in the NLCS. Wish he woulda choked on some of his firm tofu! DIE FATTY!
So yeah, in the end. I would trade a Brewers loss for a Tigers loss and Lions loss, with a bonus Lions coach meltdown any day of the week!
Eat shit Detroit sports fans!