Wednesday, October 5, 2011


Yes, we are in the midst of PHILOSOPHY WEEK!!!, but that doesn't put us above talking about my meatheaded experiences at the gym. As the weather cools off, I'm finding myself there more and more.

Anyway, we need to get to the PUMP, cause we got some good philosophical crap coming up the next couple days.

Saw some dude with literally no neck, and my first thought was, "I bet he's a real asshole." Who knows if he was or not, but it made me think a bit: yeah, he is obviously very strong in the traditional, physical sense.

But maybe he isn't so strong personally. No doubt, he's definitely a toolbox dipshit douchebag. That's something that's obvious by his choice of gym attire: super baggy basketball shorts, all-over-print Ed Hardy graphic tee, huge basketball shoes and a backwards baseball hat.

Just from looking at this guy, maybe real strength isn't always measured by how much you can do, but rather how much you refrain from doing, or don't do.

That said, I PUMPED out 250 pushups in less than 20 minutes. Did you? Didn't think so. *StrongAsFuck

Maybe you're stronger than me because you refrained from doing 20 minutes worth of push ups, which in the grand scheme of things, doesn't really mean shit.

Like take this dude for example. Yeah, it doesn't take very much physical strength to cuff the waitress up a little and then pour HOT COFFEE ALL OVER THAT TRICK. Obviously he's not strong enough to REFRAIN FROM FREAKING OUT AND OWNING HER. What a pussy.

Now let's see what my boy Allen Watts would say about that vid.

If I know Mr. Watts like I think I know Mr. Watts, he'd say that you can't have spilled coffee, both on the table and on the waitress, without un-spilled coffee.

The high, the low. The calm, the angry. The coffee-scalded skin, the uncoffee-scalded skin. The sloppy pour, the smooth pour.

And then he'd say, "as the ocean waves, the universe peoples." Wait what?

I'm not a philosopher, and neither are these next couple of twinks. Not in a million years. But they sure do make me glad that I'm 30 and not a 15 year old punk that thinks he's knows everything.

It appears that the main dude has a half-mustache on the left side of his face. Not sure if that's a zit-stache, actual unshaven stubble or a combination of the two.

The only thing I can hope is that PHILOSOPHY WEEK!!! doesn't turn out as horrible those dipshits.

And what kind of a PHILOSOPHY WEEK!!! HUMP DAY PUMP UP would this be if we didn't close out the PUMP with a couple words from Uncle Socrates?!?!

I had no idea that Socrates was a modern day drunk with frosted tips and his cousin's visor from 1996. Weird!

Watch the videos, laugh, take in a couple nuggets of wisdom, be a better person, CRUSH the rest of this week. And come back tomorrow because I've got one of my world famous movie reviews coming up.

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