Friday, September 2, 2011

getting philosophical

Been having a kind of philosophical week. Philosophical in the sense that a couple things occurred to me, and while they're aren't really life-altering, I just kind of wanted to address them. And adding "philosophical" really churches things up, IMO.

I'm 30 a thirty year old salesperson. Of the three jobs I've had since college, none have required a college degree. Even though I have since paid off my student loans, I could have skipped college and would now be tens of thousands of dollars richer, albeit only a couple tens. Eh, you win some, you lose some.

Since graduating, I've watched my wife get a Masters degree and then a doctorate. Pretty awesome cause she's really smart. But like Seinfeld says, "what is that doctor doing with that salesman?"

Really makes me thank my parents for passing on the genes that made me so good looking and surprisingly awesome, in lieu of brains.

So in order to make up for my academic and collegiate shortcomings, I have this blog. And with this blog come some pretty profound ideas.

The first thing I want to talk about are books. I don't know if it's me or what, but it seems that books are more prestigious than movies or DVDs. You go to a friend's house and see a huge shelf of DVDs and immediately think, "wow you fucking dork." You go to your next friend's house and see a monstrous bookshelf full of books and immediately think, "yeah no fucking way you read all those, but still, impressive." If you're not as cynical as I am, you'll probably just be kind of impressed.

Thing is, books seem to have this stigma of "elite", "intellectual" or even just "smart" attached to them. But why? Because you can learn so much more from every book in the world than from every movie in the world? Maybe.

What about this - what do you do when you're reading? Probably smoking a fine cigar, sitting in a nice reading jacket, sipping tea (or wine or champagne). What are you doing when watching a movie? Probably either getting drunk (we'll get to that later) or if you're with a chick, trying to scam on the slore.

With books having this almost implied superiority over movies, you'd think it would be an automatic candidate for something that really sucks (other examples: hipsters, chicks that aren't DTF, people from New York that always tell you they're from New York).

You know what, forget it; nothing I've typed so far has really changed my mind about books being better than movies.

Also overrated: Lady Gaga. She is just a more accessible Marilyn Manson with a good voice and poppy songs. Everything about her has totally been done before, including her, hard. Besides, I find the insanely autotuned songs way catchier anyway.

Something redeeming: she actually did a risque photoshoot for some European magazine a week or two ago and in one of the shots you can see her boobs. I guess when she looks normal/kinda strung out and trashy that she's kinda hot.

Otherwise, totally FUCK THAT BITCH AND HER GAY BULLSHIT. Like, I was all for gay rights until I saw Lady Gaga advocating for them. I'm all for eating bacon, hating the environment and blasting chicks, but if I ever saw Kanye West or Oprah Winfrey advocating for those causes, I'd totally have to rethink my views.

Long story short, I hate Lady Gaga.

Last thing, and maybe most controversial: Drinking.

Yeah, drinking is overrated. I was sitting at home the other day, pretty drunk, and asked myself, "why am I even drinking; why am I drunk?"

The answer to the latter question is obvious, but seriously, why?

Really, drinking is pretty stupid. How does it make my life better? I try not to get hangovers anymore, so I don't usually get drunk enough to make really bad decisions, but usually just drunk enough to get really FUCKING ANGRY about politics.

And I think we've been through the vicious cycle thing enough around here.

Some people argue that they like the taste of different alcohols. I can't argue with that, but I'll take your taste preference and raise you one: image and aesthetics. Yeah, what is harder than a grown man, pissed off at the world, sipping on warm whiskey?

With a .357 magnum clutched tightly in his left hand?

Nothing. Alcohol wins.

For now.

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