Wednesday, August 17, 2011

HUMP DAY PUMP UP: I GIVE UP

Yeah. I give up. That's why we're gonna eschew the traditional themed HUMP DAY PUMP UP in favor of a diverse PUMP. Even though we at HYM poopoo diversity, we realize that there are myriad different ways for the world, your life, your friends, your family, your job and nature to break you down.

Realize that all these UNPUMPS will be coming at you from all sides at all times. Like I always say: no matter where you are or what you do, there will always be somebody there trying to fuck you. And not the good kind of fucking either.

With that said, sometimes, when you're not talking about people, diversity is essential. One man's trash is another man's treasure.

So let's start with a PUMP coming from somewhere you'd least expect it: Jon Stewart. We're not huge fans of Mr. Stewart, but he has been known to be funny on the rare occasion.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Indecision 2012 - Corn Polled Edition - Ron Paul & the Top Tier
www.thedailyshow.com
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Get PUMPED as Stewart yells "SANTORUM!?" at around :52.

then...

Holy ROFL at the Huntsman comment about the fire marshal at 1:25.

And finally, the VOICE OF REASON UBER PUMP DOCTOR PAUL PUTTING THE FUCKING PUMP IN HUMP DAY, PUTTING THE FUCKING HAMMER DOWN ON RICK INSANITORUM AT 2:45.

Kudos to you Mr. Stewart for getting Mr. Paul the publicity he deserves. And for BRINGING THE PUMP THROUGH BRINGING THE FUNNY.

Ok, I know I just PIMPED/PUMPED out a pal's music project a week or too ago, and I hate to be PUMPING (no I don't) my friends' endeavors so much, but this is legit funny. And if you like it, you should DONATE.




I lived with that kid for a year in college and one time he let me give him a haircut. Me. Giving a haircut. Believe it. I was PUMPED

Another time he did a flaming shot of whatever really-high-proof booze we had and his face caught on fire. STILL PUMPED

Then another time I coached him through telling his girlfriend at the time, over the phone, that he was sick and would be going to bed early, while we all had a ROOMMATE DRINKING NIGHT. I think that was the night I wound up cutting his hair.

PUMP

One time, I woke up in the morning and he's all "hey ****, you remember what happened last night?"

I'm all "no?"

He's all "really?"

I'm all "for real, wahappeh?"

He's all "yeah, last night you barged into my bedroom at like 4 in the morning, looked at me, then curled up on the floor in my closet and went to sleep. I tried yelling at you, but you weren't hearing it, so I just went back to sleep. When I woke up in the morning you were gone. You snored loud."

I'm all "woah, sorry dude."

A lesser man would have had a meltdown. Just wait till the time I tell you about the time I crawled into bed with another dude. Talk about a legit dude-freakout. Imagine how Heckyeahwoman felt when I got up to go potty in the middle of the night, and 5 minutes later, no hym, then all of a sudden she hears a loud "WHAT THE FUCK GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" in the next bedroom over.

Yeah, sleepwalking PUMP.

So there you have it, a couple unrelated PUMPS on this HUMP DAY PUMP UP to fuel you through the rest of the week in this world that hates you.

Haha OK fine, some heavy rock music to nightcap this PUMP:



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