Monday, August 1, 2011
fuck classy girl cupcakes in milwaukee, wi
See those faces? Those are the faces of turds that have no idea how to run a business. Those are the faces of chicks that learned a Groupon lesson the hard way - by insulting and patronizing their customers.
The one chance they had to win your business, they pissed in your face. They're the type of broads who, after taking a dump, piss all over it. Not knocking that though, cause I totally do it too.
Why am I so angry? Because those slores are trying to arrogantly run a business, under the not-so-false pretense of not knowing how to run a business.
You know how Groupon works: business gets made promises from Groupon sales rep that only an idiot would believe, business participates in Groupon, Groupon offer goes public, and due to lack of working knowledge of how business works, business has negative experience.
This seemed no different with Classy Girl Cupcakes.
Apparently they had some fine, fine print that if you want to take advantage of the Groupon deal, you had to place your order for cupcakes like 72 hours in advance. If you wanted to use your $12 Groupon, you had to give the cupcake store three days advance notice to prepare a couple goddamn cupcakes. Assuming it was a 50% off deal, and with cupcakes costing $2, most orders were for probably around twelve cupcakes. Nothing crazy.
Maybe something we can explore later is why any one person would be purchasing twelve cupcakes for personal consumption, you fat fucks.
I'm honestly shocked that these schmucks actually kinda thought to plan ahead for the projected increase in cupcake volume. But that's beside the point; you want three days notice, you can have it, whatever.
Naturally, some (pretty much all) customers are total dipshits, and like any business, I'm sure Classy Girl Cupcakes has seen their fair share of dipshits. But there were enough complaints (many of them were even deleted from their facebook page!) for them to issue a formal explanation. That's the good news: they addressed the problem.
Unfortunately, it begins with the following sentence:
To our Groupon customers who waited until the last minute to attempt to redeem their vouchers:
Wait, what? For real?
Of course that is followed with a little bit more "it's your fault", some "don't blame us", and finally a little deflecting of the onus to their Groupon rep.
The funniest part of this whole thing, after my brother explained the absurdity of the situation, I asked how much the Groupon was, and realizing the hilarity here, he laughed out a meager response.
In fact, he could barely spit it out before both of us broke into hysterics: "twelve bucks".
About three minutes of solid laughing later, we both realized we were laughing so hard that we were sweating, and that set us both back into rage mode.
And you know what else? It's Monday, just wash your goddamn hair.
Dry shampoo FTW