Monday, July 11, 2011

mlk is too asian

Not sure if you noticed the light shitstorm (lol, light) last week about an MLK Jr. sculpture that apparently appears to be "too Asian". Yes, people are saying that Dr. King looks too Asian. The sculpture, not the actual dude. Uhhhh, I bet none of those weirdos have ever lurked any of the million adult streaming video sites, searched "Asian", and enjoyed the results privately.


I mean, the dude who did the sculpture was Asian, would it be that shocking if the sclupt had a little AZN in 'im? In all the awesome drawings I've done, it's been all white people getting brutally killed, and I don't hate white people!

But that actual thing is going to wind up in Portland, between a couple other sculptures of (non)Asian dudes - T-Jeffy and Abe-Linkz. And MLK is going to TOWER over their respective diminutive busts.

Just going out on a limb, but what if somebody said something looked too Black, too African, too gay, too Mexican? I don't think that would go over "too well". Some descriptors are taboo, some aren't, just depends on whose version of PC we're using. I guess "too Asian" hasn't registered in that exclusive taboo list yet.

Maybe next year, Yao!

Like obviously when something crappy happens to me, it's not uncommon to hear me complaining, "that's gay" or "that's black". But now I'm totz going to start the "you totally got Asian'd there, bro".

I was fishing last week and caught a huge fish, but right as I was about to grab it, the line snapped - JAPAN'D

Came home from work early to find my wife in bed with a(nother) (yellow) man - CHINA'D

Drove 7 hours to my brother's house and totally attacked him with a nailgun - HONG KONG'D HARD AS FERK BRO

Wife mouthin' off again so I HIROSHIMA'D HER ASS.

Yeah it's not so funny now is it, PC twinks?

Didn't think so.

Almost forgot, you decide if the sculpture is too Asian-looking (sculpture is on the right).

Some are saying the sculpture looks "too confrontational". The obvious question is: what exactly is "too confrontational" - 'specially for a guy who liked the sauce almost as much as he liked the fairer sex? Not knockin' it, just sayin'.

Looks pretty bad ass to me. Shoot, if you're going to immortalize me in stone, I'd love to look that awesome. Actually, I'd love to actually be made out of stone, The Thing-style. Crushin' dudes on the reg, ya smell me.

But seriously, can't a dude cross his arms without being confrontational? I do it all the time and I'm not confrontational at all, well actually nevermind, I am. Besides, I think if I was somewhere in his struggle back then, I would have been a little more than "cross my arms confrontational". I woulda jumped fitty years into the future and been all "flash mob confrontational". Crank that.

Last thing I wanted to touch on is MLK's son, and his praise of the sculpture: "this particular artist -- he's done a good job."

Probably kind of hard to argue with that.

Also, some semi-related lols. Unfortunately I found myself reading The Root (click any article and/or read the comments for unlimited unintentional hilarity, or save a hundred million brain cells and don't). Anyway, they found some research about how chicks with lighter skin got shorter jail sentences than chicks with darker skin.

OK I get that, fuck The Root, but the picture they used to show dark vs light skinned women was hilarious.

Ugly chick vs. pretty chick. I bet the researchers didn't account for that. 'Slike saying that the guilty spend more time in jail than the innocent.

REALITY CHECK, WEIRDOS, you're not gonna find Judge HYM blastin' the defendant cause she's ugly. Listen, we don't care whether you're light or dark, just GTFO if you're ugly. That's not asking too much, is it?


Don't worry, we'll be back on HUMP DAY with a white guilt-fuel'd PUMPFEST.

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