Wednesday, July 6, 2011


Wow, don't even know where to start.

So I'll start with this:

Yeah, that's me. And my fishfriend. Not a fishfuck:

Great song, but Mom I hope you didn't listen! It's kinda gross!

So yeah, that was me catching my first fish in over ten years!

While we're on the topic of awesome things, check out this awesome song from the 90's that I just remembered was awesome. Shoutout to my friend **** ****** for always blasting this song, and yeah, 15 years later, it's pretty sweet.

Huge PUMP right there.

So we spent a long weekend up north in northern Michigan, on Lake Huron. It was sweet.

If you can picture me at my most PUMPED, and multiply that by the 6 of us that made the trek, add in the other 10-15 or so people we chilled with that were already up there, you can imagine the size, scope and intensity of this 4 day bender PUMP.

Got there about 8:30PM and dude had pizza waiting for us at the cabin. Went to check out the lake, water was fuckin' freezing, and immediately switched into freak mode.

FYI, freak mode = get loaded at the campfire and light off fireworks then shoot them out of slingshots and/or throw them in the fire pit.


You ever done a bottle-rocket-beer-chug before? No?


I cracked open a cold one (, dawg), stuck a bottle rocket in the can, lit it, then chugged it after it went off. Only the thing is, I bought the cheap bottle rockets, so it didn't even launch out of the goddamn can. Nah, it just chilled in my beer, spewing ash and soot all over the top of the can, and then went off still standing in the can. Fuggit, I chugged that beer like a champ anyway.

My wife yelled at me for that one.

Only thing that would have made it better: This following song blaring at 11. So PUMPED to interrupt my PATRIOT PUMP with a little reveling in mid-90's punk rock!

We did some fishing, got swarmed by a black fly invasion, went oveWAIT WHAT A BLACK FLY INVASION?

Yeah, the six of were taking a nice walk down the beach to the fishing hole, rather four of us, with two taking the canoe. Should have seen the foreshadowing when the two in the canoe flipped it lol.

To get to the fishing hole, we had to cross a small river, no biggie. But shortly after crossing the river, I noticed a shitload of flies swarming me. Literally patches of flies on my leg, shoulders, body, so gross. I started running for the fishing hole to get in the water, and then I heard the screaming: everybody else was getting attacked too.

It was a clusterferk of swatting at flies, fishing poles being swung around, bug spray being sprayed everywhere, girls screaming. Shocked that nobody died.

When it was all said and done, I found myself in the water at the fishing hole, one dude was in the canoe, things died down a little, and everybody else ran back to the cabin lol. So we fished for twenty minutes, caught a huge BASS, and right as I was about to grab it, it snapped the line and swam away with my hook stuck in its mouth. Screw you, fish.

Unfortunately the dude with the tackle box bolted. So I ran the mile back to the cabin, chased and swarmed by flies. Truly miserable.

I couldn't believe he had time to snap a picture of me with his iPhone. Thanks ****!

So weird, never seen anything like it in my life. Would have been a huge UNPUMP, but I MANNED THE PUMP UP, FISHED AND ALMOST HAD A HUGE BASS IN MY HAND.

The last day was beautiful, so we were on the beach all day. Dude busted out the jetski, we went tubing, Heckyeahwoman tubed hard as a muh - it was awesome.

Long story short, it was awesome and we all spent like 4 days extremely PUMPED and hating nature.

Now it's back to the UNPUMP of reality.

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