Monday, June 27, 2011

yeah, another weekend wrap up

Yo so most of last week I was just looking forward to the dude daytrip to Cabela's on Saturday. Just gotta make it through Friday fursss.

So we'll start with Friday.

A little backstory first: I always bring peanuts to work, to eat, and these moochy motherfuckers are always trying to eat my peanuts. Some guys bring food, buy beer, whatever, so I don't mind sharing. But some guys don't. They'll hear the familiar rattle of the peanuts in the plastic jar and make their way over to my desk.

But the funny (read: tacky) thing is the way they ask for some. Like if you make a joke about "a hand full of your nuts", "tasting your nuts", or some other stupid innuendo, like that makes you less of a fucking mooch? Get real.

Next time it's gonna be, "wait, you know what? What the fuck have you ever done for me? Fuck you".

Long story short, it came to a head on Friday afternoon, when a couple fruitloops accused me of "whining" about people eating my peanuts. First off, I don't whine.

I demand.

I insult.

I command, destroy, put down, stand tall, eyeball and look away in disgust. But I don't whine.

I guess I don't really care about sharing my peanuts. Christ, they're on sale at Kroger all the time, it's not like sharing a handful of nuts with some ungrateful dudebros is gonna be the end of the world or something. It's just something I thought I should bring up here.

So Friday, got home from work, went to some fancy bar for a drink, a cheese plate and a turkey sandwich. Yeah for real. Then went back to our friends' crib, played some vids, chilled, enjoyed the nice weather and chilled some more. Good time, nothing crazy.

Saturday morning, woke up quick at about noon just thought that I had to be in Compton soon. Haha just kidding, woke up at like 10:30, had some coffee, and feverishly awaited our excursion to Cabela's. Was hoping to get up early enough to sneak in a bike ride before we left at 1, but that didn't happen.

Dude didn't get to my place till 2, rather than 1, so turns out I could have gone for A FUCKING BIKE RIDE SO I PHYSICALLY VERBALLY BERATED HIM IN THE CAR THE ENTIRE TRIP DOWN THERE. Actually I didn't.

Totally had forgotten about it because I was so PUMPED.

First we went to Toledo, OH. Yes, we had to go to OH to buy fireworks, and yes, we drove past the Cabela's. Brutal.

It was insane, this fireworks store. Right when we walked in, they stopped us so we could register.

Yeah, register.

They got my license, my credit card, my SSN and I had to sign an official looking document that I wasn't a weirdo and that I'd take the fireworks out of the state of OH within 48 hours. Weird little operation you people have got.

Three dudes, $140 later, we had a trunk full of sweet fireworks.

Next stop: Cinco de Mayo, some shitty Mexican restaurant right off the highway. Nommed some mexitreats and had some Daiquiris. A nice little treat indeed.

Cabela's here we come! Got there and it was instantly awesome. I wound up buying a fishing pole, a couple lures and a fishing license. Oh yeah, and I applied for a Cabela's credit card so I could get $15 off my purchase. Hey, the recession hits everybody, man.

My friends thought I was crazy for doing that, but yo, I'm sorry, I don't like to spend needless money (after we bought a bunch of fireworks lol).

Speaking of needless money, let me tell you about the fuckaroo that was me purchasing a MICHIGAN FISHING LICENSE WOW THAT PISSED ME OFF.

Turns out, because my driver's license says FL, I had to buy a nonresident one, like $19 more or something. What a pain in the ass. Don't worry, I've only been living in MI since August, and will be here for a while. It's valid for a year, is there that much a black market for MI fishing licenses?

Why do I even need a state sponsored fishing license? I have my own all-purpose license: a 6 inch barrel .357 magnum. That thing pretty much gives me the right to fish, hunt, drive, live and/or do whatever the hell I want. Whenever I want.

Some pussy ass DNR dude gonna come up to me all mumblin' for me to whip out my fishing license? I'm gonna whip out my piece and take care of this the old fashioned way.

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP

So yeah, by the time I left Cabela's I was sweaty as fuck (I sweat when I get pissed and spend money) but still PUMPED to use my fishing pole soon.

Got loaded Saturday night when we got back into town.

Fast forward to Sunday: it was beautiful, went on a great bike ride. Then I went shopping.

Yes, I had an Old Navy Groupon for like $20. Bought a couple sweet swim suits and some flip flops.

Next, headed to DSW Shoe Warehouse and found some awesome, cheap moccasins. Total WIN.

Had some great purchases this weekend. But it's pretty sad that the highlight of my weekend revolves around shopping.

FML 4real.

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