SPIT JUST GOT REAL - REALLY PUMPED
THE IRON GYM CHANGED MY LIFE AND I'VE ONLY HAD IT SINCE SUNDAY. AND IT'S ONLY BEEN FUNCTIONAL SINCE SUNDAY AROUND 5PM.
Picked that bad boy up at Target for like $30. Talked about a PUMP FILLED ride home, amirite or amirite?!?!?!
NO KIDDING, IT WAS ALL I COULD DO TO LEAVE MY HOUSE FOR A WORKOUT WHEN THAT THING WAS SITTING ON MY COUCH, OPENED UP, PARTS ALL OVER THE COUCH, JUST BEGGING TO BE PUT TOGETHER.
But I had to get out in this beautiful weather, ya smell me.
But didn't you buy that thing so you could do workouts at home, instead of at the gym, or...gulp, outside, you ask? PUMP NO!!!
I BOUGHT THAT THING SO I COULD DO WORKOUTS ANY TIME, ANY WHERE.
WHEN I GET HOME FROM WORK? PUMP
WHEN I GET UP IN THE MORNING? POUND OUT 10 PULLUPS
AFTER I RELEASE THE BOWEL-KRAKEN? PUSHUP TIME
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF TYPING UP A HDPU? OH YEAH, HOLD UP BRB
And what better way to do millions of pull ups than with TURNSTILE'S DEATH GRIP BLASTING IN MY FACE HECK YEAH GET PUMPED AS THESE DUDES JACK YOU UP WITH THE SMOOTHEST MODERN HARDCORE JAMZ THIS SIDE OF TRAPPED UNDER ICE
SONG IS SO HARD, GOT ME PUMPED.
But how PUMPED, you ask?
OK, maybe not that PUMPED, cause I don't totally trust it not breaking yet, but someday soon I will. And when that day comes, I'll be ready.
You sick of your shitty life? Don't be silly, of course you are!
You wish you could be as awesome as me and not give a FO? We both know it!
Only one way to remedy the wicked lack of PUMP in your life: GET THE IRON GYM.
I hate to shill for the assholes that charged me $30 for a couple pieces of steel, some plastic, a couple screws, some foam handles and the simple application of PHYSICS so I can get RIPPED at home, but yo, this is the REAL DEAL.
And you know what they say: REAL RECOGNIZES REAL, 'specially when Ice-T is yelling it:
YO ITS SO REAL. Seriously listen to that song and try not to get PUMPED. IMPOSSIBLE.
Last words - RIDE THE PUMP AND END THIS WEEK HARD