Wednesday, June 29, 2011


Wait what?

Yeah, remember that icky green vegetable you hated when you were a kid? Well now that we're adults, we've come to appreciate the PUMPINESS in each leafy morsel of green PUMP.

That's right, twinks, we're gonna eat our veggies and kick the shit outta the rest of this short week. Headin' into the holiday, there's only one way to celebrate 'Murica, and that's with guns, fireworks and tons of BRUSSEL SPROUTS. Not in that order, though.

Look at that fat pile of PUMP, ready to be cut in half, seasoned and cooked with some garlic!

Nice wicker basket too, weirdos! Nothing would PUMP me up more than runnin' my hands through them B-sproutz! You ever had one raw before? Not that awesome, but not that bad either.

You do the math!

Speaking of cooking them with garlic, look immediately below, and feel your mouth water.

The other day at work I was CRUSHING some roasted Heckyeahwoman-made Brussel Sprouts and my coworkers could tell I was PUMPED from the pure PUMPY TASTINESS of the situation.

A grown man enjoying every delicious bite.

Yeah, they were microwaved leftovers, but that didn't stop the PUMP...or the RUSH OF FRESH PUMPY FLAVOR. Also worth nothing: the chicken HYW has made for me the past couple weeks has been perfect. So juicy, so moist, so cooked to perfection that I am just beside myself as I savor every PUMP filled bite. WOW!

Just when you didn't think you could get more PUMPED from a vegetable, I bring you a hot chick preparing Brussel Sprouts! OK, hot in the sense that if she lost 20 lbs, didn't have such a huge mouth, had bigger boobs, didn't smoke a pack a day and have the smoker's gravelly voice to match.

But otherwise pretty hot!

Slores cooking veggies PUMPS ME UP!

Yeah and I know I mentioned the Fourth of July coming up, so we probably better get our PATRIOTIC PUMP POPPING for all you marginally patriotic turds out there.

Do you have any idea how hard it was, or how long it took, to browse youtube for three minutes to find a song about guns, without one mention of God, George Bush or other stuff? It's actually impossible. But this is about as good as it gets.

And the video is awesome. I like guns.

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