Sunday, May 15, 2011

crappy stuff happened

Turns out blogger was unavailable for most of Thursday and part of Friday, so I'll just be a cheap dick and post what I had typed and saved in Microsoft Word from Thursday night. Anyway, let's not let Blogger's technical difficulties take away from me being so pissed at the situation.

Obviously the only thing for me to do was cruise youtube for awesome videos.

Think it’s too early in the week to get PUMPED?


Thank you, The Promise! I couldn’t have crushed those hills on my bike on Thursday night without you screaming these songs in my ear! Preesh!

That said, I also couldn’t have made such a narrow escape with my life from those three geese chasing me. No kidding, I was on the trail and there were a gaggle of geese watching over an even bigger gaggle of their duckling baby geese fuzzballs. Little yellow guys.

They were really goddamn cute. Like kitten-cute. Like any baby I take part in creating will never be that cute…OK the heckyeahwoman half will be, but you get the drift.

So this gaggle of geese was just hanging out ON the trail and I’m trying to get through, but the big ones were CHASING and HISSING AT me. One even took a swipe at my leg.

Good thing I was cruising at optimal bike cruising speed. Also good thing my thigh is 100% pure invincible muscle.

After dodging death-by-goose, I had to stop and check out the ducklings.

I pulled over in the grass, put my bike up against a picnic table and chilled for a minute. But something strange was afoot: there was dogshit everywhere.

Like EVERYWHERE. Old, fresh, green, crusty, piles, drops, drippings, brown, ant covered.

After a minute of goose-watching, I got back on my bike only to have my foot slip off the pedal. Awesome, dog shit all over the bottom of my shoe and on my pedal. Really lubed up my foot's grip on the pedal.

So I stuck my foot in the river, washed it off, and busted my ass home to eat some of that insane homemade pizza HYM made. Seriously, insane: caprese pizza. WHAT!?!?

Yeah, fresh mozzarella from the Krog, fresh tomatoes from the garden (haha, actually from the Krog), BASIL from xTHExGARDENx and balsamic vinaigrette-soaked onions.

Great bike ride, almost got eaten alive by a goose, and yeah, I’m still sweating.

Ok and because you kindly played along with my recycled post that was supposed to be made public last Friday, I'll give you a little recap of my weekend:


In fact, it "pretty much fucking sucked" to the point where I don't think my weekend was good enough to warrant me going in to work on Monday. There isn't really any defining point of shittiness of the weekend to point out, other than the weather was crappy and I wanted to go on bike rides both days, but the shitty weather prevented that.

Oh yeah, there was one low point, I remember, we went out for dinner to a fancy restaurant, Cafe Felix for all you Ace Deuce MFers out there, and it was a 100% SHITTY experience.

The food was crappy - my steak was delicious, but HYW's lobster pasta was blander than most boring people I know. It was like the food version of the movie The Hours. BORING!

But the real bummer was the service. Despite the fact that Jason Segal was nomming at the same restaurant, the service was embarrassingly bad. Like, the server was a dipshit, and there's a fine line between crappy service and straight up special needs, but yo, this box ("Cassandra") was F'd in the H (fucked in the head).

I mean, after our meal, obviously I smashed her face on the bar, HYW said what really summed up the experience: "at least it wasn't our anniversary dinner". Lol, true story, HYW.

On Wednesday, I'm going to make an argument for what I think is the best album of the 90s. And it's going to PUMP you UP.

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