Wednesday, May 4, 2011

HUMP DAY PUMP UP: MOTLEY CRUE

I don't think anybody realizes how badass Motley Crue really is. Some of the riffs are kinda heavy, Tommy Lee is an awesome drummer and Vince Neil is actually a pretty good singer.

We'll kind of just glaze over the guitarist, who may or may not be dead - he just looks that way...but he's got a PUMPLOAD of AWESOME RIFFS.

Bottom line, if you can't get PUMPED UP by the band's ode to snorting MOUNTAINS OF COCAINE, first thing in the morning, we got a problem. Yeah sure, they don't ever really mention MOUNTAINS OF COCAINE, but how else you gonna KICKSTART YOUR HEART? With a HUMP DAY PUMP UP? That'll only take you so far, you need the MOUNTAINS OF COCAINE to really push you over the edge of PUMP.

Lucky for us, Motley Crue understands that, and wrote this song in lieu of HUMP DAY PUMP UP. And you know what else? Their guitarist, Mick Mars ruled the Telecaster before your favorite bearded, shitty, skinny jeans band even thought about PBR tall boys.

Kickstart My Heart is the original HUMP DAY PUMP UP tune. I would crank this tune to get PUMPED for workouts back before working out was even invented. WRAP YOUR PUMPED LITTLE HEAD AROUND THAT.



A mere mortal would end the HDPU right there, cause the intro to the song is more than sufficient with regards to your once-weekly PUMP needs.

BUT WE'RE NOT MERE MORTALS HERE.

This next cut from Dr. Feelgood was ALSO actually created for the sole purpose of PUMPING YOU UP!

Don't believe me? Check out HOW PUMPED the dudes are at :50, :52 and especially the mullet'd bro in the white tank top at 1:02.

That's why they call it the FIST PUMP.



Not PUMPED? R YA DUMB!?!?

Look at what the drummer is wearing! Still not PUMPED? I don't blame you: total drummer-in-just-his-underwear-and-suspenders-UNPUMP!

And you know we're saving the 3rd best song on the album for last, that's right PUMP-NEEDERS, here's Dr. Feelgood. Please note this song was not named after my wife.



Man, even in the prime of their career, the guitarist still looked like he was close to dying. Sickly old man looking like death BUT STILL SHREDDING THE SHIT OUT OF HIS AXE PUMP.

THAT'S WHAT GETTING TOO PUMPED ABOUT SHITLOADS OF DRUGS'LL DO 2 YA! GOOD THING THE ONLY THING WE'RE GETTING TOO PUMPED ABOUT IS GETTING PUMPED UP TO CRUSH THIS WEEK LIKE A TRIPLE ORDER OF TOPPERS!

OK and this song is awesome too. It's called She Goes Down, and it doesn't get much PUMPIER THAN THAT!




In case you haven't heard, Osama bin Laden got killed and that should probably figure into your HUMP DAY PUMP UP plans. Nothing PUMPS US UP like people getting shot in the eye!

ONE MORE PUMP: WE ARE IN THE PROCESS OF SEARCHING FOR A VENDOR FOR HECK YEAH, MAN SHIRTS - PEEP THE POLL (POLE) TO THE LEFT AND VOTE WHETHER OR NOT YOU'D BUY A SHIRT.

DO IT DO IT DO IT GET PUMPED

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