Wednesday, May 11, 2011

HDPU: UNDERGRAD BAR PUMP

If you remember where we left off from Monday's post, you'll recall that it pretty much ended with ur boi grabbing the new Ke$ha remix album, and an allusion to some serious undergrad barhopping (scroll down if you don't believe me).

The remix album is awesome. And not only is it awesome, but it did just the trick in getting the HYMs all kinds of PUMPED UP on not just Saturday afternoon, but well into Saturday night and maybe even a little into Sunday morning.



Some of the remixes push the five minute mark, and if you're a fan of Ke$ha, you'll probably notice that most of her songs hover right around the typical length of three to three and a half minutes. Long story short, that duration can make each song seem like a marathon at times, what with the INSANE & GRATUITOUS TECHNO BEATS.

But don't worry, AIN'T NOTHIN' TO LOSE MY PUMP OVER, YA SMELL ME.

So chalk one up for the PUMPED with that album purchase.

Keeping the PUMP, we got home, worked out, showered, stretched out and then I may or may not have fallen asleep on the couch while HYW ran an errand or two.

And she may or may not have startled me when she got back.

JUMPING UP FROM THE COUCH TO GRAB A COLD ONE (, DAWG), I said, "FUCK IT YOU CAN'T STOP ME", grabbed a beer, tossed one at HYW and we both knew what we had to do:

GET CREEPIN' TO THE BAR. CAUSE YO, IT WAS "GET-CRUNK-O'CLOCK".

Having decided to hit the undergrad part of town, we weren't quite sure what to expect.

You ever been the oldest person at the bar? That's what we were when we went to Good Time Charlie's for dinner and drinks. Then I got up to go potty and saw some kid chillin' in the stall, just standing there.

Right after I pull up to the urinal and unsheath my fleshy MACK TRUCK from which I would spill some urine, I hear dude start YAKKKKKIN' lol.

It sounded like this, but MUCH LESS PUMPY AND AWESOME:



OK, it was pretty awesome. Some little shit puking his guts out in the bathroom stall, then coming back to his table like nothing happened. Nice try brodude, I seen it!

Eh, coulda been me 10 years ago. Yeah, 10 minutes.

Lucky for us the Boston Celtics - Miami Heat playoff game was about to start, and I tell you, nothing PUMPS ME UP MORE than seeing BOSTON SPORTS PLAYERS GET HIDEOUSLY INJURED:














OK, I'd rather see that happen to Boston sports fans, but still, look at that dudes elbow!

In truly UNPUMPY fashion, the Celtics overcame the injury to win the game. And in truly PUMPY fashion, I overcame inebriation to say a couple unsavory things too loud at the bar.

Dude, both the bars we went to were totally FRATTED OUT. For real.

Pink collared shirts
Popped collars
American Eagle gear, Hollister gear, Abercrombie gear
Shredded jeans
Ugly boots
Hair product
Bitches in not a lotta clothes
Dudes plottin' to roofie chicks later
Various types of "bomb" shots
Sunglasses at night
Drink specials
Kids "chillin'" at the bar
Motherfuckers looking at me funny, about one eyeballing away from getting MASHED LIKE POTATOES
Music I had never heard of before with loud bass and it was giving me a headache
Fashion trends I didn't even know existed

It was awesome, we got tore up, then the hottest chick in the bar took me home and all I could do was pass out on the couch.

NON STOP PUMP ALL DAY ERRY DAY

Totally unrelated BE GLAD IT'S NOT YOU PUMP:

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