Wednesday, May 25, 2011

HDPU: CATHATEPUMP

Maybe you remember on Monday when I told you about our worthless cat, Meow Meow, PISSING on not just my drycleaning bag of clothes, but my GYMBAG too.

My first instinct was to PUNISH with FORCE.

Lucky for our tubby feline friend, HYW is a beacon of compassion. Shawtie puts my boi Cheesus to shame with that empathy shit.

Whenever I think of Meow Meow's unrepentant string of brutal urinations, I can't help but get all PUMPED UP WITH RAGE, but right after I grab the taser, ready to do her harm, she hits me with this:
















An assault of cuteness. And that RAGE suddenly turns to an unnamed feeling of just less than rage.

Just enough to make me put the weapon down and stew in a nonviolent way.

So since I probably won't ever be lucky enough to be the true cause of Meow Meow's demise, I will let seeing other cats (and people) getting owned in awesome ways serve as my PUMP PROVIDER.

Get PUMPED AS YOU WATCH THIS VIDEO OF A KITTEN.

A KITTEN IN A TOPHAT.

BE PUMPED as the older gato dishes out ONE PUMPED UP KITTYSWAT!

TAKE THAT YOU ADORABLE LITTLE KITTEN YOU HAD IT COMING!




OK this has nothing to do with kittens, but it had alot to do with the basic misanthropic feelings I harbor. This is a new take on the classic "getting hit by a train" bit.

LOVE LOVE LOVE when people get hurt!





Appears we're getting away from the KITTENHATEPUMP here, that's fine cause what kinda weirdo hates kittens anyway? But this vid is more on the "kids doing dumb things and getting hurt" tip. Love it, PUMP it.




The blood is rushing and we've blown right past the semi into a full on RAGING BONER PUMP!

Extra bonus PUMP: I will be in Denver and Laramie, WY this week and early next, CHUGGING MOUNTAIN DEW, TAKING MOUNTAIN DEW SHOWERS AND DOING OTHER EXTREME THINGS IN THE MOUNTAINS, WITH LOTS OF MOUNTAIN DEW INVOLVED.

And when I'm not getting EXTREME, I'll be getting EXTREMELY LOADED. FYI

1 comment:

AJk said...

Where did the kid run off to!!??