So check this out, I think that Guttermouth's Musical Monkey might be the best album released in the 1990's.
Look at that cover art!
For real though, just hear me out here right here.
Now what's that you say? Better than anything Strung Out ever did?!?! Screeching Weasel? Nirvana? Smashing PUMPkins? The Chronic? Oasis lol!
OK, I'm not sold that it's the best album of that particularly awesome decade of music, but it is a FUCKING AWESOME ALBUM. There isn't a stinker in the bunch, and even their stupid joke death metal song, "Corpse Rotting in Hell" is awesome.
Maybe it's the dog barking vocals that make that song, and album, so awesome.
Or it could be the ridiculous drum solo in the last song.
You know I bet it's the absolutely insane lyrics to Lipstick (video below!) that put it over the top.
The more I think about it, it's the overall anti-PC sentiment found in practically every song.
Like the fact that I haven't heard the word "fag" used that much in a modern punk rock album since, well, ever. Now don't get me wrong, saying "fag" isn't cool at all, what is cool, and what PUMPS ME UP is the fact that Guttermouth doesn't give a shit.
Get PUMPED as Guttermouth sings about how HORRIBLE ROLLERBLADERS ARE. C'mon, FUCK ROLLERBLADERS FOR REAL!
In fact, Guttermouth got kicked off of Warped Tour in 2004 because of overweight CRYBABIES who don't know what punk rock is. Apparently some losers got pissed because Guttermouth were UNPUMPING UP the idiots in the crowd by jokingly wearing shirts in support of George Bush.
Haha, they were also 'verbally abusing' other bands on stage lol.
TALKING SHIT TO PC TWINKS WITH REALLY SHITTY HAIRCUTS IS A GUARANTEED PUMPER UPPER!
Lol @ 30+ year old dipshit actually getting angry about another 30+ year old dipshit joking about politics to a bunch of 15 year olds.
Don't let the cluelessness of some idiots detract from the PUMP that Guttermouth is capable of sharing unto you. Into you. The band's name is GUTTERMOUTH for CHRIST'S SAKE! I hope you're not expecting lyrics full of clever riddles, ponderings on the meaning of life or research-backed rants on biophysics!
Don't believe me? Check out the POETIC PONTIFICATION PUMPS lead singer Mark Adkins verbalizes in his nasally, off-key style - about his own mother! One man's degenerate lyrics are another man's PUMP!
OK, so I realize that there really hasn't been much argument for why I feel this is the best album of the 90's; I give up. Really I'm much too concerned with GETTING PUMPED UP FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK than I am with proving a point that you don't really give a shit about anyway.
And that's OK.
Just so long as we're clear. And PUMPED.
What's better than pissing off 15 year old 30 year olds? Ripping on vegans, of course!
When's the last time you heard one man's narrative of his exploits in trying to nail a vegan skank done in a catchy 90's skatepunk style? Probably never!
Truth is, I have a couple other Guttermouth albums, but this is the only one I keep coming back to on the regular.
Interesting PUMPY side note: yesterday at work one dude brought in this portable espresso-making contraption. 45 minutes and three dudes later, we had about two point five shots of espresso.
And a BIG ASS MESS on the counters. But I was so PUMPED from that shot that I was uncontrollable and immediately bodyslammed the little greek shitsicle that I work with.
And dude, you can't talk about Musical Monkey without even mentioning the following song. Bad taste FTW! GET PUMPED!