Wednesday, April 13, 2011


Wow, after that UNPUMP from Monday, let's get to the PUMPY part of my weekend. And believe me, there is plenty to be PUMPED about.

I don't even know how to do this: a list, a traditional HDPU, a video PUMP, man I don't know. Just keep reading, and the PUMPS will reveal themselves.

After the brutal movie viewing from the previous night (and all the whiskey I drank), it was no surprise that I woke up with a brutal hangover. DRANK SHITLOADS OF WHISKEY PUMP

Didn't stop me from planning out a nice little Saturday with Heckyeahwoman. Yep, we had some shopping to do, then I was gonna try to fit a work out in. After chugging coffee, eating some food, and dropping an insane deuce, out we headed. First stop: Kohls.

You'd think I would be happier about the great fitting pair of jeans I found, but no, I was (and still am) far happier about the awesome 15% off coupon we used! Watch as over $100 worth of stuff turns into like $92! I LOVE COUPONS PUMP

Next stop: Old Navy. Why? Because I got stuff to return and Heckyeahwoman has guessed it...a coupon! BOOM another huge discount courtesy of my friend, MR. COUPON. BEING BFFs WITH MR. COUPON PUMP UP

Naturally, later when we got home, Heckyeahwoman immediately tried on my new sweatshirt and claimed it as hers. NOT GONNA HAPPEND BONERPUMP

The little plaza where Old Navy is located conveniently contains a PetCo and a Borders, so we hit those stores up, IN THAT ORDER, weirdo.

PetCo was awesome because we HAD A COUPON for the refillable cat litter containers. HYW stepped up to the station with her 16lb empty jug and I stepped up with my 40lb empty jug. Despite the vast volume discrepancies, you know we were gonna race to see who could scoop the litter the fastest.

Overcoming my obvious, and much deserved, handicap, I still managed to fill my cat litter holder first. #WINNINGPUMP

That #WINNINGPUMP would of course carry over to our venture into the nearby Borders. Love that they're going out of business and stuff is like 60-80% off. YES! While we didn't have a coupon, we were ready to take advantage of those deeply discounted savings. And oddly enough, after checkout, the dude threw a 50% off coupon right into our bag! CAN'T STOP THE SAVINGS PUMP!!!

Bought a book called 365 Ways to Annoy a Liberal and it was quite underwhelming. Too much Ronald Reagan dicksucking and Christcrap for my sophisticated tastes. But for $3, what are you expecting? Anyway, annoying liberals is indeed a noble activity. You don't always have to be the fart in my bowl of soup, weirdos!

Got home, unloaded our fine coupon fueled haul, attached my new(ish) odometer/computer thing to my bike, cracked a cold one, and debated about where to keep the party poppin'.

The debate was cut short by Heckyeahwoman brandishing, with a little smile, a 20% off coupon for one of our new favorite restaurants - El Camino Real - a delicious Mexican place. It's unbelievable how awesome Mexican food is. It's also unbelievable how COMPLETELY SMOTHERED IN THE GOOIEST MELTED CHEESE BOTH OF OUR ENTREES WERE. Only thing that would have made it better: smothering my beer, HYW's margarita and the coupon in that wonderful melted cheese.


I want to keep on with the PUMP, but after that last PUMP, it's getting hard to type.

Long story short, we got home from dinner, I crapped somethin' fierce, met up with a friend for drinks, got home, got REALLY DRUNK again and fell asleep watching The Unit (lol).

Woke up Sunday morning at like 11:17 with another huge hangover, said "fuck it", and went for a great 14 mile bike ride, cause it was like 80 degrees today OMG. Had to cut the ride short so I could get to the haircutters by closing time. WENT FOR A GREAT BIKE RIDE AND GOT AN EQUALLY GREAT HAIRCUT PUMP

No coupons though :(

OK, and here comes the UNPUMP: later I tried to get a car wash, and tried three different goddamn places that were all closed/not working. HOLY SHIT. I was raging so hard that I stopped to get gas, and came home really pissed. At least I did some laundry and some cleaning.


Ok fine, here's an awesome song that sounds even better when you're giving the PUMP 110%


beer said...

You managed to convey an awesome weekend without even mentioning the bitchin' weather. I tip my hat to you, sir.

heck yeah, man said...

WRONG: "Woke up Sunday morning at like 11:17 with another huge hangover, said "fuck it", and went for a great 14 mile bike ride, cause it was like 80 degrees today OMG."

jeah, dawg said...

flight tickets must have come after the weekend...