Wednesday, April 20, 2011

HDPU: INLAW WEEKEND PUMP

This is the second straight HUMP DAY PUMP UP where the PUMP consists entirely of weekend activities. But first I'm gonna get this out of the way: I know that today is 4/20. Haha weed jokes lol.

Back to the PUMP:

I don't even know where to start, cause to tell you the truth, I think I'm still hungover and I can't totally see straight. Yeah, I think you know where I'm going with this.

Let's get this PUMP poppin' with events on Friday: had a great day at work, played three games of horse (actually won one), and was a couple beers deep by the time I left. Cut through the parking lot, cut some asshole off, almost caused a three car collision (fuck you I'm buzzin'), got home and Mother in Law was chillin' on the couch, having just cooked up a shitload of food.

Literally I walked in the door and the scent of delicious baked goods invaded my newly trimmed nostrils. It was awesome. Heckyeahwoman and Father in Law got home shortly and after slamming a couple cold ones (, dawg), we headed out for a fancy dinner at a fancy restaurant.

Heck yeah, we had a sweet Groupon coupon so we ate like KINGS for pennies on the dollar. PENNIES ON THE DOLLAR PUMP

EATING A HUGE STEAK AND CHUGGING HALF PRICED BOTTLES OF WINE WHILE YOUR INLAWS ORDER PUNY APPETIZERS AND SIP THEIR DAINTY GLASSES PUMP UP RAISE THE ROOF THE ROOF THE ROOF IS ON FIRE

HYW's sister and her boyfriend flew in late Friday night, but they got in a little early so we drove to the D to get them. Love when flights are early, especially on Friday night when I'm lookin' to get TORE UP ya feel me.

Almost forgot, speaking of getting tore up, WE DID GET ALL KINDS OF LOADED. Had a busy day planned out on Saturday, no big deal that we all overslept by like two hours! NOT GIVIN' A FO PUMP CAUSE IT'S THE WEEKEND PUMP DRINKIN' BLACK COFFEE AND THINKIN' ABOUT HAVING A BLOODY MARY BUT THEN ULTIMATELY DECIDING NOT TO BECAUSE THE VODKA WAS GONE PUMP

Ran some errands during the day on Saturday, got stuck in traffic and had HYW screaming at me to turn around, and telling me I shoulda gone the other way. Had to tell her to pipe down before I drive this car into that fucking school bus over there. Sister in Law and boyfriend were silenced with that little revelation there. Hello me, meet the real me. CAN'T STOP KEEPIN IT REAL WITH THE INLAWS PUMP

Last part didn't totally happen. But what did happen was ur boi, CHOWIN THE FERK DOWN ON SOME DEEP FRIED VEGGIES AND CRUSHING A HOMEMADE DOUGHNUT WITH COCONUT TOPPING.

And for the record, yeah, that PUMPED ME UP.

Anyway, everybody was out doing stuff all day, much of it in preparation of dinner.

Yeah, and Saturday night we celebrated Easter. What? It wasn't Easter you say? Well aren't we just A BUNCH OF CHRISTHATING ASSHOLES BLASPHEMING BY CELEBRATING A HOLY HOLIDAY ON THE WRONG DAY RESURRECTION PUMP

Not enough of a faux-Easter PUMP for you? Well you shoulda sampled the lamb we had. Normally I HATE LAMB, but this shit was grass fed and cooked to perfection. GD, throw a little of that mint sauce on it, and I literally had an (res)erection during each delicious bite (sorry mom). It was so savory and I could taste it's life. EATIN' FOOD I NORMALLY HATE AND LOVIN' IT PUMP

Sunday morning arrived hangover-free for some reason! So I did all I could do to FORCE THE HANGOVER...that happened to be heading out for brunch and bloodies and STUFFING my mouth fulla REFRIED BEANS and chilaquiles. No hangover, but did get a massive case of the 'rhea. Then capped the Sabbath off with the ULTIMATE PUMP - I HIT THE GYM HARDER THAN THE HARDEST BONG HITS.

What a great weekend. Typing this up on Tuesday night, and I would say I'm finally recovered.

WHAT'S THE TAKEAWAY HERE? THIS IS THE TAKEAWAY: THE AUTOMATIC DAY-BRIGHTENER, THE UNPUMP REMOVER, THE GUARANTEED PUMP YOU UP VIDEO:

1 comment:

heck said...

HOW THE FUCK DID NOBODY COMMENT ON THIS.