Week started off GREAT with a GREEN BAY PACKERS SUPER BOWL VICTORY on Sunday. Truth is, I'm not sure if I'm happier about the Packers victory, or the Steelers LOSS! What a great game though!
Either way, I started this week off with the right PUMPY MINDSET.
AIN'T NOTHIN' GONNA BREAK MY STRIDE, AIN'T NOTHIN' GONNA SLOW
And then Monday morning happened. Woke up early to go to work (UNPUMP), ate breakfast (PUMP), and then hit the bathroom for the daily dump'n shower (PUMP).
Except things took a turn for the worse with a VERY unsatisfying dump. Felt like I had three pounds of poop still up in me all day. Don't worry friends, like Greg Jennings, YOU CAN'T STOP ME, and I went to the gym to hit it hard as shit (PUMP).
Unfortunately, Heckyeahwoman is going out of town on HUMP DAY (the nerve!) - HUMP DAY is like my Sabbath. But the only god I worship is the almighty GOD OF PUMP (see my lizard god of PUMP immediately below)
But don't worry, it's HUMP DAY, and I'm gonna BRO DOWN and BACH IT UP SO HARD. Got my sickest jeans, got my hair product, got my western flannel pearl snaps, got my sickest kicks, yo I'ma do this.
I might even order some wings. Honey if you're reading this, I promise I won't order pizza every night, have fun, miss you, love you!
(I'M TOTALLY GONNA ORDER PIZZA EVERY NIGHT)
(AND FUCKING SNORT BLOW OFF HOOKERS' ASSES HOLY SHIT I ALREADY CALLED IN TO WORK, BURIED UNDER THE SNOOOOWWW)!
OK BACK TO FOOTBALL, not tryin' to get divorced here.
Check out this dickwhiffer shedding tears over the BIG GAME!
And then to add insult to injury, Little Wayne raps about the Packers! And he uses naughty words!
I'M A CHEESEHEAD, Y'ALL NWORDS CHEESEWHIZ
Never thought I'd hear Little Wayne rapping about the Packers. Or anything related to Wisconsin.
But when you're THIS PUMPED UP, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN
Here, check out this video. Dude I work with, *****, requested a Vandals song. And who am I to not post this awesome VANDALS SONG?