Monday, January 17, 2011

weekend wrap-up

Had a busy little weekend.

It was nice, I managed to get pretty loaded both nights. Unfortunately, the first night was at a dinner party...at Heckyeahwoman's bosses' place. Ridiculous house, sweet Porsche chilling in the driveway, nice Benz hanging out in the garage.

Started out pretty tame, rubbing elbows with intellectuals, academics, and dudes with British accents. Before long, it turned into the older folks sitting down for tea & crumpets in the living room, and the younger folks gathering in the kitchen around a fridge full of beer, a partially full 1.75 of whiskey, and roughly 3 half bottles of scotch.

Was it good scotch? How the hell should I know.

Did it taste fine and get me drunk? Oh yeah.

After everybody was good'n wasted, a conversation about proper grammar broke out. Being surrounded by PhDs, I knew I was in good company, at least in terms of grammar mastery. Ok and a little bit of pretentiousness. But before we could come to any definitive conclusions, the dude with the British accent drops some knowledge.

We all just stood there, stunned.

Being that I was widely known as "Heckyeahwoman's non-PhD, yet awesome husband", they were quite surprised to learn that I am indeed an accomplished writer. Surprise surprise! Here here!

It was funny, probably around 9:30 I got a call on my cell from an "unavailable" number. Not thinking much about it, I put it to voicemail. Listened to the vm on Saturday, and it turned out to be a prospect calling me back! Glad I didn't answer, I was TORE UP lol.

Woke up Saturday morning with a light hangover, ran to Target and bought inflatable toboggans to go sledding! And about $200 worth of OTHER SHIT GODDAMNIT.

Uh, then we went sledding! It was awesome, I probably mowed down 10 kids on just three runs. Some little kid, must've been like 5, was having trouble carrying his over-sized, heavy, wooden sled up the hill. Noticing this, and being the good guy that I am, I went over to give the little guy a hand. But instead of carrying his sled up the hill for him, I raised it up over my head and chucked that stupid sled all the way down to the bottom of the hill.

Lol at it breaking into three pieces.

Finally, a couple of the dads chased me off the hill.

What a bunch of weirdos, like they've never seen a 29 year old dude sledding with a crowbar.

Then it was time for FOOTBALL. Watched the Ravens - Steelers shitshow, and got really PUMPED for the Packers - Falcons matchup. Like a boss, we headed to the bar to watch on huge, fancy HD TVs. After 3 hours of VIP bottle service, valet parking, and generally just being awesome and loaded, we headed back home, drunk as fuck.

Capped the night with some white russians, and a sick couple games of SkippBo.

Woke up Sunday morning with a brutal hangover, but went to the gym anyway. Unfortunately there was some crazy older dude walking around the locker room completely naked. I've never seen someone that old, that tan.

Not sure what his deal was, but it took me about 2 minutes to get my gear ready, and lock my jacket in the locker, cause he must have walked from his locker to the sink - completely naked - at least three times.

Part of me is trying to wrap my head around why he wouldn't put on a towel or something, and the other part of me is just trying to heal my scorched retinas.

Right now, it's Sunday afternoon, just cracked a cold one (, dawg), and the Pats -Jets game is about to start.

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