Friday, December 17, 2010

viking fanz r dum

By now I'm sure most of you have heard about the Minnesota Vikings' stadium roof collapsing under the crushing weight of brutal Minnesota snow (Minnesnowta?).

If not, peep the vid below. Like the dude said on last weeks NFL pregame, it "looks like some James Cameron Titanic shit, yo".


So the game was moved to the Detroit Lions' field on Monday night. Tickets were free, but were "sold" out by 9am Monday morning.

Anyway, the Vikes still can't play ball in the Metrodome, so they're in dire need of a replacement NFL stadium for their upcoming matchup against whoever. Rather than playing at the other team's field, they're using the University of Minnesota's outdoor TCF field.

But according to this article, the field is covered in 5 foot drifts of snow. That need to be cleared.

And guess who they're letting shovel the snow.

Yep, the Minnesota Vikings are allowing their football fans to volunteer to shovel snow.

UPDATE! Now it appears the Vikings will be paying the workers, due to liability issues. Or like the article says, due to the Vikings repeatedly sucking generous amounts of dick, their 5-8 record, Brent Favre wearing sweet tapered leg Wranglers to practice again, and the fact that nobody in their right mind would want to shovel snow for free.

I don't even want to shovel snow for money.

Speaking of football, I mentioned the other day that Heckyeahwoman and I qualified for our fantasy football playoffs by finishing first and second, respectively. It's true, we both qualified again. Maybe you remember last year, we both made it to the championship.

Where she beat me. Then I beat her, so it evened out.

Anyway, our league was really tight, and it came down to the last game of the season for three of the four of us trying to get in. Heckyeahwoman already locked up her spot last week.

It just so happened that one of the dudes in the league that needed a win to get in, was playing his wife - who had no chance of making the playoffs, cause she's in the cellar every year. It's pretty clear she didn't play her best lineup, in what appears to be an effort to help her husband win...and make the playoffs.

Either way, totally a sketchy move. But what wasn't sketchy was my hilarious post on our fantasy football league, directed at the shady dealings:

congrats on making it into the playoffs.

unfortunately, the fact remains that your wife laid down for you, so you could win. whether or not you needed her help is irrelevant; you still asked her, and she complied. any way you slice it, that's a bitch move. once again, the rampant douchebaggery you've displayed in years past has reared its ugly head. your serial engagement in shitdickery of the highest order is not just embarrassing for you personally, but also detrimental to the integrity of the league.

your life has been reduced to essentially cheating at fantasy sports, with your wife as your accomplice. my life has been reduced to being awesome, doing awesome things every day, authoring the best blog ever, writing some of the worst songs ever, hitting the gym hard as shit, and doing donuts in wal-mart parking lots (weather permitting).

heck yeah, man.

Sadly, his rebuttal wasn't quite as awesome. And that's not a dig at him, rather a credit to my far superior wit. Again, not implying that he has a lack of wit, just that I'm really clever. To clarify, I'm not saying he's not really clever, I'm just pointing out that I'm on some next level shit. Doesn't mean he's not on some next level shit, or couldn't be on some next level shit in the near future, just that I'm a cut above. Understand that it's not that he's not a cut above, it's that I think there is an underlying issue with not just him, but the 6 other characters in my fantasy league: they're all just jealous of my team name - ROCK HARD RETARDS.

You know it.

Coincidentally, I play him in the first round this weekend. He's got a really good team again this year. And one more thing, I just noticed that last year's final standings are exactly the same as this year's top 3 seeds: Heckyeahwoman, me, and him.

Dude OMG.


Anonymous said...

Don't let that 'fear boner' get in your way neph. Kick that S.O.B.'s sorry a$$! That's how I'd roll.

-uncl Mike

Jesus said...

I am the creator of all next level shit.