Monday, December 27, 2010

slap in the face

Quick little slap in the face here, courtesy of Heckyeahwoman. Read on:

One thing I take pride in, and enjoy doing, is cleaning. I love having a clean kitchen and a clean bathroom. Though with the way I dump, it's near impossible to keep the bathroom as pristine as I'd like.

Last Sunday, I took it up on myself to clean the bathroom. I cleaned everything: floor, sink, toilet. OK, I didn't clean the tub; for some reason, I hate cleaning the tub.

A couple days later, like two, HYW cleaned the toilet. Noticing a slightly shinier sheen around the rim of the bowl, I saw that the toilet had been recleaned. Now this was just like two days after I cleaned it - nary a chance for me to tarnish the porcelain with dried liquid shit splatter: it was still very clean.

With my heart beating furiously, anger coursing through my veins, and an anxiousness I've never felt before, I confronted my wife: "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CLEAN THE TOILET FOR? I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO!"

Taken by surprise, but not anywhere near ready to back down, "it looked like it needed a cleaning", she stammered back at me.

Exercising great restraint, I calmly explained that I had just cleaned the toilet, and there was no noticeable shit spatter. Have you ever explained to your wife (or any female family member) that there was no shit spatter on the toilet? Have you ever screamed at your wife (or any female family member), "THERE WAS NO FUCKING SHIT SPATTER!"? Have you?

Well it's kinda weird. Especially when there are at least 5 other people that live in the same building, and the walls are paper thin.

We left it at that before things escalated.

Why she would do this is beyond me. But what isn't beyond me is the stinging slap in the face this is still smarting.

Tell me I've got a small weiner. Tell me I'm bad in the sack. Judge me, dump me, cheat on me; but don't you ever reclean anything I just cleaned.

1 comment:

Janeen said...

This post made me snort-laugh!