Wednesday, December 15, 2010

HDPU: YOU GOT STUFF IN YOUR TEETH

A confession: this PUMP may be a little half-assed. Been a rough couple of nights: get home from the gym at like 7:45, shower & eat and all of a sudden it's 9ish. GD, son, where the time go? It's the holidays, so I've been furiously Xmas shopping to get the order placed so we can have the gifts delivered before we bust outta town. Last thing I need is for our gifts to be delayed again.

Then I need to have that done by 11, so I can watch The Office, and then go to bed. So yeah, I spend all day at work on the computer, then come home and spend almost all night on the computer.

Here we are, Tuesday night, it's like 10:51, and I'm pisse-wait, what?



PUMP IS HERE, PUSSYBEATS.

Watch that awesome video, listen to that awesome song. Do it now.

Anyway, this has nothing to do with the video, but it has everything to do with personal hygiene.
AND PERSONAL HYGIENE PUMPS ME UP.

Every day at work I eat a spinach salad with my sandwich. It's quite delicious, as I've graduated to eating it without any dressing at all. Just pepper. And as any of my fellow spinach connoisseurs know, spinach gets stuck in your teef like woah.

But it's worth it, cause I love spinach. I LOVE FUCKING SPINACH. Wait, I FUCKING LOVE SPINACH. That's better.

I packed my lunch for Monday, and was so JACKED that I forgot to pack a FORK. GOD FORKING DAMMIT! It was awesome when I whipppppped out my di-uh, my salad, and realize there's no fork. Lucky for me, my little Grecian friend has a shitload of gyros, the sickest jeans, and more importantly, a used fork. Just needed the fork, don't give a shit about his gyros or jeans.

He was kind enough to let me borrow his used fork. Man so I marched that dirty ass fork into the bathroom and scrubbed it furiously. Finished up with some pre-lunch handwashin' prep, and it's NOMtime, friends.

Lunch continued on without incident.



Well, actually I watched the above video and almost choked on my sandwich cause I was so PUMPED.

Here comes the rub now. After lunch, as I'm heading for my after-lunch-urination, and to wash my little friend's fork, I totally forgot to check my teeth - you know, to make sure I ain't have no chunkz of spinach in my teefz.

Goddamnit.

Of course I got roped into a conversation right as I'm exiting the turlet. Just standing there, trying to carry on a conversation, but still trying to hide any potential green chunkz in my teeth. I probably looked like an asshole.

And you know what, here's another sweet video because I don't think I've yet done a sufficient job of delivering the PUMP to get you through the rest of this COLD ASS WEEK.




EXTRA BONUS PUMP: HECKYEAHWOMAN AND I QUALIFIED FOR THE PLAYOFFS IN OUR FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE. SHE FINISHED FIRST; I FINISHED SECOND. Probably gonna have a separate blog on the shenanigans that ensued. But till then, STAY PUMPED!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Number 1 seed in our fantasy playoffs here. I got this kid Vick playin' QB for me........

-uncl Mike

heck yeah, man said...

heck yeah, hate to see vick do well, but he's been on fire. heckyeahwoman has the number one seed in our league; i'm number two.