Wednesday, November 3, 2010

HUMP DAY PUMP UP: I GOT A JOB!

It's true - I got a job!

But like I told the CEO when he hired me: "I really like working here, and I like the offer, but I gotta tell you, it's bittersweet". His confused look informed me that I better elaborate: "Haha, no it's cool, I like you; I like the company. I just hate working".

And like that, a new chapter in my professional life has begun.

My first official day at work, I was subjected to a video - not a training video though lol:




So i guess work isn't all bad. And if that AWESOME video doesn't PUMP YOU UP, maybe one of the racist comments on the youtube page will:

DROCODRAMA 19 minutes ago "Racist Republican candidate Nathan Deal running for Govenor of the state of GA.If you win I hope you get asassinated while in office you white BITCH"!

YEAH TAKE THAT YOU WHITE BITCH! I'M GONNA FIGHT YOUR (PROBABLY NONEXISTENT) RACISM WITH REAL RACISM!

Still not PUMPED UP? Well, if you're at all like me, you got that song stuck in your head all day. But you can't go around singing it out loud, what with all those n-bombs. So what I did to make it singable in public, is to replace every n-bomb with "kitty".

I'M THE HEAD UH THE MUTHAFUGGIN STATE KITTY; I BROUGHT YOU CHANGE KITTY; WHAT THE FUGG U THANKIN' KITTY?

Little advice: not the best idea to pump this video 3 times in a row, and then sing it back to Heckyeahwoman for 20 minutes. That really pisses her off. But eh, like I always say: one person's piss is another person's PUMP.

And check this out, last friday evening, me and some dude were at the office till like 5:45 PM (WTF, KITTY?), just listening to this awesome band, Splitter. Not on headphones either lol; homeboy had this bumpin' real loud on his CPU. One fellow employee commented sarcastically, "great Heckyeahman, you like the same music as *****". Lol.



So everything is pretty good, I'm keeping my PUMP levels at 11, my boner at about 4.75", and my weight around 200lbs. Shit yeah pussybeats, can't stop the PUMP.

But what about you?

Are you just gonna sit here and read about how AWESOME I AM?

Or are you gonna get up, tell your boss to fuck off, and go and try to find a sweet job like mine where you can wear jeans to work and listen to SPLITTER really loud? ANSWER ME YOU FUCKING PUSSY.

Let's end this with a MASSIVE PUMP

4 comments:

Susan said...

I AM PUMPED!

Anonymous said...

congrats on the job, hope you enjoyed your 6 month break

TokenSLR said...

You didn't capitalize an "I" on your blog. For this, I quit you.



No no no no...haha jk. You almost peed your pants, right? And congrats on your 4.75"(I mean your new job).

Anonymous said...

On my job I get to read racist blogs!

uncl Mike