Got some good news for allay'all today - it's HUMP DAY, and I'm PUMPED UP because I'm leaving work at noon to drive 8 hours to Wisconsin.
Actually I'm not totally PUMPED UP because I actually like my job, and enjoy coming in and writing shitloads of business, dawg. But like anything, not working always trumps working. So PUMP ON, friends.
And there's not a whole lot that PUMPS a brother UP about facing an 8 hour drive. Well, except for the fact that I'll be driving with Heckyeahwoman, and I'll be PUMPING the following tunes at full volume for the ENTIRE drive.
Now if that doesn't get YOU PUMPED, I don't know what will.
Also, I'm looking forward to hanging out with my family a bunch too. Only bummer is that I don't think I'll be able to find any time to go shopping with my mom lol.
Now this has nothing to do with Thanksgiving, but this little story is full of CRAZY PUMP. I was playing some basketball with my tall friend from Tampa, and yo I was driving to the hoop, outta nowhere got mad ups, and dunked on that dude like what.
Next words outta my mouth: "can't stop the truth".
Picture this: It's your boi, HYM on Thanksgiving day, slowly awakening from a drug & booze-fueled slumber - with the scent of roasting turkey, mashed potatoes, and burning hair. Mmmm mmm, nothing like the smell of a homecooked meal to get me all PUMPED up at 1:00PM in the afternoon.
And yo, if this next song doesn't get you SO PUMPED to eat a raw turkey BEFORE you put it in the fryer, than I don't know what we're gonna do with you.
But on the real, my dad called me last week and told me that he's gonna give me some guns.
Yeah, he's got some guns he's gonna split up between my brother and I. SUPER BONUS PUMP!
It's funny, my brother and I used to hunt back in the day, for god, probably close to like 10 years. We had shotguns and rifles, and my dad always made sure we had sweet guns to use. Or in my case, rarely use lol.
You know how people have financial advisors and brokers and shit, always moving money around & hustlin'? Well my dad was like our gun broker, always hittin' us with gun upgrades, managing our gun inventory lol, buying low selling high, so that often I wouldn't even know what gun I'd be using, or actually own lol.
I'd ask about the gun I thought I remembered using last, and he'd be like, "sold that one five years ago, you got a _____ now". Sweet lol.
Now he's gonna let my brother and I pick some sweet guns HECK YEAH BONER GUN PUMP I LOVE THANKSGIVING.
Don't like guns? Guns don't kill people, people with mustaches kill people. That, and I hope you die. Now go'on get PUMPED:
BLACK FRIDAY post coming on...Friday. Probably in bad taste too.