Friday, November 19, 2010

go ahead, frisk my jenny tulls

Have you been reading the news at all lately? You probably have.

While everybody is FREAKING OUT about the TSA full body scans and "enhanced pat-downs", we're all missing out on the sexy implications here: walking through the full body scanner with a RAGING BONER, or even sexier - the potential for hot chicks to be feelin' on my dong during a pat down...while I have a RAGING BONER.

Either way, boners are involved.

Now here me out hear.

Or, hear me out here.

In the last year or so, I've noticed the number of hot TSA agents increase exponentially. What used to be overweight, husky, sedentary cows are now increasingly good looking slores (that are probably DTF).

You do the math.

I don't know about you, but if you look at all the millions of times I've gotten laid, about 100% of bonings happened when I had a boner. And 95% of the time, hot slores were involved. Except for Heckyeahwoman, she's just hot, not a slore. The other 5%, the hotness was def questionable, while the sloreness wasn't lol.

Real talk: anywhere you go with a boner, including AIRPORT SECURITY LINES, the chances of you puttin' the pipe down go up. Throw hot slores into the mix, and you're golden. Mix in a sexy little pat-down, and there's no place I'd rather be.

"But heck yeah, man inc., what if they have some big, bubba-lookin' motherfucker to pat me down?"

Well if it were me, I'd just opt for the full body scan then.

But if I'm advising you, and I am, I'd say go ahead, take the patdown. I think it'd be hilarious for you (not me) to get a pat-down, RAGING BONER and all, from a big, bubba-lookin' motherfucker. Cause you know that's the last thing in the world he's gonna wanna do - calmly and nonchalantly frisk around some dude's stiffy.

Bottom line, next time you're in the airport, rather than bitching about the bullshit security that you can't do anything about, try to look on the brightside: if you play your cards right, you could be joining the pre-mile high club.

Talking about STICKING IT TO TSA amirite or amirite!?!?!

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