Monday, October 25, 2010

if i could be lebron james

Lebron James is a crybaby.

He recently cried to ESPN about how some idiots are making racist tweets to him. Racist tweets. Read that again: racist tweets.

Apparently he got called an n-bomb on twitter, and that's newsworthy. I listened to a DMX song the other day, and counted like 15 n-bombs. And he didn't mean it in an endearing sense, what with the way the n-bomb was bookended with f-bombs, and mother f-bombs.

Not sure, but is he surprised there are racist idiots in the world? On twitter? On facebook? Everywhere? Do you think he's surprised that people don't like assholes, and used racism to vent their disdain? What the fuck Lebron, are you fucked in the head?

James retweeted a couple of the hateful tweets, and ESPN reports:

"I just want you guys to see it also," James said after the Heat's practice Wednesday afternoon. "To see what type of words that are said toward me and towards us as professional athletes. Everybody thinks it is a bed of roses and it's not."

So he's telling us that being one of the highest paid athletes in the world, playing with 2 very high caliber teammates, and living in Miami isn't a bed of roses because a couple people called him a racial slur? That his life isn't insanely awesome (other than the fact that he's a tool)?


Also lol, he cried, again to ESPN, that the heat (lol) he took for going to...the...Heat...was racially motivated.

That, or you had a fucking insane one hour special on ESPN where you announced your decision where you're going to sign, like you're the only thing that matters in the world. Do you know what being a prick means, Lebron?

Listen, a spade is a spade, and if some dipshit is gonna sling racial slurs at you for being an asshole, that sucks, but too fucking bad. You are an asshole. It's too bad somebody had to bring race into it, but they did, and they're as much a scumbag as you.

Get over it.

Crying about some idiot to the country isn't gonna make it go away.

Lebron has a dream life; that's all there is to it.

It's times like this that I wish there actually was a heaven so that he could finally get what he deserves in the afterlife. Truth is, at the end of the day, the dicks poking fun of BronBron have a much shittier life than he ever will. That's gotta sting a little more than a couple stupid tweets.

Let's put this in perspective: what would I do to have his life?

Lebron thinks that racial slurs are the worst thing that someone could say to him. I don't disagree, tweeting racist anything at anybody is pretty ridiculous. But whatever, I'll give him that. Would he give up his million of dollars, his awesome life, everything, just to stop a few racist tweets?

Probz not.

What is the worst thing somebody could say about me? That I'm not funny, not handsome, or...gulp, not awesome? Let's go with that; I'm not awesome.

If I could live Lebron's life, I would gladly encourage anybody and everybody to tweet about how unawesome I am. Or what a cracker-motherfucker I am. I don't give a shit.

But you wouldn't find me crying about it; nah, I'd be too busy constructing the first ever bathrobe made out of purring kittens.


GatorsDon'tSuck said...

Wait, what? You're a cracker? You totally thre me off with your "shawty"s

GatorsDon'tSuck said...


heck yeah, man said...


Tampa Cat Bathrobe™ Patent Pending said...

Way to bring home the lolz totally ununawesome.