Not sure what qualifies this as a proper HUMP DAY PUMP UP, but it's happening, and there's not much you can do to stop it. The PUMP is a-comin', and you can't fight it.
So check this out; we were on our honeymoon (PUMP!) in Puerto Rico (PUMP AGAIN!), and it was awesome (MEGA PUMP!). After landing in San Juan (I HATE FLYING AND IT FELT GOOD TO FLY FIRST CLASS AND GET LOADED ON FREE WHISKEY PUMP!), we took a cab to Old San Juan (CHEAP CAB RIDE BONER PUMP!), basically the historic, downtown area of the city. Very cool.
The hotel was amazing - world class food, open-aire hallways, and beautiful accommodations. It was one of the coolest hotels I've ever stayed in. HECK YEAH.
So what do we do on our first full day? We walk 3 blocks to Pigeon Park and get assaulted by a shitload of pigeons.
Kind of intimidating at first, but when you'd walk into the park, they'd all run away. But then you buy a bag of food, and you get SWARMED. INSANE.
It was so cool that we went back on our last day lol. That's why I'm wearing 2 different shirts.
Spooked me a bit when 3 pigeons landed on my hand, pecking at my palm for treats.
There's a pigeon on my head. And my shoulder. DON'T CRAP ON MY HEAD THE LAST THING I NEED IS BIRD POOP DRIPPING DOWN MY FOREHEAD ON MY HONEYMOON. Lol, he looks so regal, just hangin' out on my head.
There are pigeons EVERYWHERE. When they land on your back, it feels kind of like a shitty, scratchy back rub. But I don't care; I LOVE BACK RUBS. And I love pigeons! But more importantly, I love being PUMPED UP.
The locals in the background, I can just imagine what they're thinking: "stupid gringos". Stupid cracker in the yellow shirt, I can just imagine what he's thinking: "here bird, eat this stuff out of my hand heh heh".
Like, after the first time we went to Pigeon Park, I was pretty PUMPED. But after we went the second time, I WAS SO PUMPED THAT THE FIRST BAR I FOUND WHERE I COULD WASH MY HANDS, WOUND UP BEING THE BAR WHERE THE PINA COLADA WAS INVENTED.
I WAS SO PUMPED THAT I ORDERED HECKYEAHWOMAN A HUGE PINA COLADA AND THEN I WENT TO WASH MY HANDS. LIKE 3 TIMES.
There were many other PUMP-WORTHY highlights from the honeymoon, but for now, this is gonna have to PUMP YOU UP TO FINISH THE REST OF THE WEEK.
hym tries their hand at album reviewing, coming soon!