Having lived in two (2) awesome college towns, it's hard not to get into the local college team. Especially since my wife either GOT HER FUCKING DOCTORATE THERE, OR IS CURRENTLY A DOCTOR at the major college in both cities we've lived.
It's fun, we all get together, get loaded, and watch the game. I got my Gators shirt; I got my Wolverines shirt - I'm ready to party.
Apparently a drunk, obese, Michigan State fan we encountered wasn't ready to party with me. Yeah, we were at the bar to watch the Florida Gators - LSU Tigers game. Not even thinking, we went to the bar close to the stadium, shortly after the Michigan - Michigan State game ended...badly...for Michigan. So we walk into the bar, and it's packed. I hate packed bars, moreso when it's packed fulla drunk college sports fans.
After immediately entering the bar, some dude eyeballs my gator shirt, gets a smile on his face, and extends his hand for a high five. Kinda weird, but he was loaded. Whatevs.
An hour later, in the middle of the game, some drunk idiot walks past our table, spies my Gators shirt, and extends his hand like he's going to shake my hand.
Obliging him, I give him a handshake, and expected him to move on. He mumbled something about the Gators negatively, so I did the only thing I knew, "what was that, motherfucker? You wanna get cut you piece of shit?"
I'm trying to have a romantic night of college football at a townie bar, filled with drunk idiots, with my wife. Do you mind leaving me the fuck alone, diminutive turd? Thanks bye.
That asshole leaves, then some drunk Michigan State threesome enters.
The fat one notices my Gators shirt and starts yelling at me, "nothing good came from the Swamp!" Apparently she doesn't know what a Percy Harvin, a Tim Tebow, a National Championship, another National Championship, or awesome is.
Naturally I tell her that Tim Tebow will kill her, and to sleep with one fucking eye open.
This is pretty much what happened next:
Lol at being an overweight, ugly college football fan, yelling at a quiet couple just trying to watch a football game lol.