Monday, September 13, 2010

job search gold

Yes, it's true: I'm an unemployed loser failure fuck up. I guess that winning streak that I've been on for the last 7 years has finally come to an end.

That doesn't mean I'm not out looking for jobs though.

I started looking for random, fun jobs, but didn't have any luck. Seems I'm not qualified to do much of anything. So I decided to starting looking at sales jobs, breaking my promise to myself to never have to do a sales job again. Not much luck there either. Now I have sunk to applying for administrative assistant positions lol. Truly the depths of depravity.

I've gotten responses for interviews, but the truth is, some jobs, I'm just too embarrassed to use my former boss as a reference. Not cause she'll give me an bad review, but because it would be embarrassing to have some HR shithead ask her how I'd preform as a receptionist lol.

As shitty as things are, there are still some nuggets out there. Check out this craigslist job posting:

Re: 3/Hr a week maid service on sunday morning/early afternoon (Ann Arbor)

$20 plus any pop bottle/beer deposit money someone would get from your empty cans for 3 hours of work. Granted this money is not taxed, this is below minimum wage and quite low for the work you want someone to do. If someone puts in a good amount of effort and works their tail off, I think, this should warrant a little bit more than a paltry twenty bucks. I would be embarrassed to offer so little and I would go ahead and just clean my own apartment with my roomates. Everyone is hurting in this economy, undergrads too.

I don't know, but I'm pretty sure this is for real. It would be so easy to pick this apart, sentence by painful sentence - but you can all read.

Some little spoiled turd posted that. Now that I think about it, I should have responded: "you know what the real world is like, kid? It's like this" - *PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH, 2 SHOTS TO DA DOME*

That's what the real world is like.

RIP, little shit.

Truth is, if I'd run into this joker in the bar, he'd probably be the first one in line to fill me full of pitchers of Natty Light. But that's just because I'd have been talking shit to him all night, and he wouldn't be quite sure if I was serious or not. That would probably explain the nonstop high fives and bro-hugs too.

He's probably a good kid, and hopefully just doesn't know any better. That's where I come in - he obviously needs a wake up call. Maybe we should start a series of "HYM wake up calls".

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