Monday, August 9, 2010

michigan bottle law

Yo, we just moved to Michigan, and it's kinda weird. For real, when you buy beer (or other carbonated beverages), you pay a ten cent deposit. Then, when you chug the shit outta that case of Natty Light, you can bring back the empty cans to get your deposit back.

Michiganders ain't mad at some recycling, son. We'll get to my thoughts on recycling in a minute (I hate it).

But did you read that? You pay an extra 10 cents per vessel, and then you have to BRING IT BACK to where you bought it, to get your shitty ten cents back. Add to that the already higher booze prices, and that's a recipe for getting pissed off. Seems like kind of a pain in the ass just to do a little part to save the Earth.

Welcome to Earf.

So every time we have a bag full of empty bottles n cans, and I can manage to sneak off without Heckyeahwoman noticing, I'm going to return those bottles, and get the deposit back. Then, I'm going to deposit each deposit into a secret savings account. When there's finally a substantial amount of deposit money deposited, I'm going to take out the deposit money and buy a shitload of motor oil.

I think you know where this is going.

That's right, I'm gonna drive the 2 blocks to this nice local park, and paint that fuggin' place a nice inky, oil-black. The grass, the tree bark, the benches - I'm gonna slather oil on errthing. Even the kids playing there. Watch your back little Johnny.

Also, I just bought a 1.75 of Early Times whiskey for like $25. Man, back in Gainesville I could have gotten like eight 1.75s of Jim Beam for that much money. And Jim Beam is way better. Actually, they taste (and look) pretty similar. But still, the Beam was like $31 for the same size. AND ON TOP OF THAT, THE DUDE AT THE COUNTER TOLD ME THAT HE LIKED MY SHIRT.

Not sure if you know why I, or most people, go to the liquor store, but I'm guessing it has nothing to do with short-bearded weirdos commenting on my brown tshirt. Lol, next time I go in there, I'm totally gonna wear the same shirt.

Otherwise, Ann Arbor is pretty awesome. Except that I pretty much hate it here lol.


TampaVille said...

Get a mailtruck to return the recycleables.

Sincerely Kramer and Newman


heck yeah, man said...

lol that's the second seinfeld reference i've heard about that situation.

word verification: proid. lol