Wednesday, August 4, 2010

HUMP DAY PUMP UP: NEW GYM

Yeah, you probably thought that the weekly HUMP DAY PUMP UP came a day early with yesterday's gem about protein farts. WRONG.

Awesome post though, I rofl'd so furiously typing that thing up. Scroll down, pussybeats.

So the cat's out of the bag - I joined a new gym. PUMP! Been there a couple times and got both my swell and PUMP on. The place is called PLANET FITNESS, and with a name like that, I knew I had to join. That, and it was $10 a month.

It could be just a couple dumbbells in a bathroom stall, and for $10 a month, yo I'm good. I get full use of the gym, including the locker room, all the weights, treadmills, bikes, ellipticals, machines, and of course the JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE!

SOLD!

PUMPED!

Wait, JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE?

















Bullshit! I judge everybody. Especially at the gym! Fatasses, old people, dipshits, meatheads, hot slores, dickheads, everybody.

JUDGING PEOPLE PUMPS ME UP!

And listening to a 1 thumbed maniac scream about being judged should PUMP YOU UP!!!





Look at this place - it's in the middle of a strip mall. I HATE STRIP MALLS BUT I LOVE EXERCISING SO I'LL COPE. And it's like 4 miles from my crib (, dawg).
















OH LOOK - IT'S A PAIR OF GYM PATRONS!













While I wouldn't, I'm willing to bet you would. Yeah, the one on the right, weirdo.

Shoot dawg, I even ordered one of these bad boys:



















BECAUSE MY OLD MP3 PLAYER GOT SMASHED WHEN SOME ASSHOLE HIT ME WITH HIS CAR WHILE I WAS BIKING. Should be here Friday. I love getting packages in the mail!

Lettuce recap: I'm awesome, I joined a gym, I judge people, and I will be insanely PUMPED UP for the foreseeable future. And I don't have a job, which could be either a PUMP or an unPUMP.

1 comment:

Tampa Death Race 2000 said...

WHAT? You got hit by a car on your bike? Did I miss that goddam post? IT would have made my goddam week!!

Driver fail. FINISH THE JOB!!