Yeah, you probably thought that the weekly HUMP DAY PUMP UP came a day early with yesterday's gem about protein farts. WRONG.
Awesome post though, I rofl'd so furiously typing that thing up. Scroll down, pussybeats.
So the cat's out of the bag - I joined a new gym. PUMP! Been there a couple times and got both my swell and PUMP on. The place is called PLANET FITNESS, and with a name like that, I knew I had to join. That, and it was $10 a month.
It could be just a couple dumbbells in a bathroom stall, and for $10 a month, yo I'm good. I get full use of the gym, including the locker room, all the weights, treadmills, bikes, ellipticals, machines, and of course the JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE!
Wait, JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE?
Bullshit! I judge everybody. Especially at the gym! Fatasses, old people, dipshits, meatheads, hot slores, dickheads, everybody.
JUDGING PEOPLE PUMPS ME UP!
And listening to a 1 thumbed maniac scream about being judged should PUMP YOU UP!!!
Look at this place - it's in the middle of a strip mall. I HATE STRIP MALLS BUT I LOVE EXERCISING SO I'LL COPE. And it's like 4 miles from my crib (, dawg).
OH LOOK - IT'S A PAIR OF GYM PATRONS!
While I wouldn't, I'm willing to bet you would. Yeah, the one on the right, weirdo.
Shoot dawg, I even ordered one of these bad boys:
BECAUSE MY OLD MP3 PLAYER GOT SMASHED WHEN SOME ASSHOLE HIT ME WITH HIS CAR WHILE I WAS BIKING. Should be here Friday. I love getting packages in the mail!
Lettuce recap: I'm awesome, I joined a gym, I judge people, and I will be insanely PUMPED UP for the foreseeable future. And I don't have a job, which could be either a PUMP or an unPUMP.