Monday, July 19, 2010

wedding write-up

Sorry to be still writing about the wedding almost a month later - it consumed our lives for weeks, and produced quite a few blog-worthy moments. So fuck you.

Anyway, as promised, here is a nice little write-up/review of the vendors we used. You know, just in case you were planning on getting married in Gainesville.

K&B's Kakes - They did our wedding cake. And by wedding cake, I mean we had these little truffles, instead of a traditional cake. They were about 2-bite size, had a hard, dark chocolate shell; and the inside was stuffed with somewhat moist flavored cake filling. Both in theory and fresh, these were the best things you could ever eat. In reality, and made by a mother-daughter team that thinks they're better than you; they were mediocre, if not stale. Ok, they were really fucking tasty, but still, could have been better. Whatever, did you catch the name? What fucking retards. Easily the most egregious and appalling lack of professionalism I encountered with the wedding, or ever.

Heckyeahwoman tried one of their truffles at a wedding expo, loved it, and wanted them to do her (our) wedding. Whatever, I don't give a shit, who fucks up cake? Impossible. So I called them to book it, and I've never been dicked around so much in my life. "We have another wedding that date". "We're free". "We can do your wedding". "Sorry, we'll let you know". Eventually, they were kind enough to grant us their truffle-services, but goddamn.

And then there was actually dealing with them, getting the flavors and everything figured out. I admit, I didn't always answer the phone when they called (cause it was them calling), but I always listened to the message, and got right back with them, or shot back an email. Them? It would be days or weeks before they'd respond to my call or email.

To be fair, they did redeem themselves by not being seen, even for a second, at the wedding, when setting up the cake-truffle thing. That was pretty awesome. And everybody did seem to like their truffles. Would I book them again, for anything? Only if Heckyeahwoman really really wanted me to.

G-nys Entertainment - Our DJ. Easily one of the many bright spots of the entire wedding. He didn't fuck one thing up. When we first met with him while looking for a DJ, we were kind of scared because he had a very slight Jersey Shore vibe. But after talking with him for just a couple minutes, we both knew that he was gonna be our DJ - even though he was the first guy we met with. Thanks again to G-nys Entertainment for being so awesome.

Also worth noting, he brought someone (maybe an assistant, or apprentice?) with him. The dude just stood there, totally silent, out of the way, in a white shirt and tie. Totally dressed nice enough, but kind of weird how he just stood there. Maybe he wasn't with the DJ lol. I have no idea. And he had long-ass dreadlocks.

Sweetwater Inn - Where we got married. Absolutely beautiful - a wonderful place to have a wedding. The staff was very helpful, and the food was amazing. Amazing. Only gripe: they nickel-and-dimed us to death. I mean, if I were a jar of change, I'd be dead. To be expected, I guess, but $25 for a highchair (for a kid), during the reception - really?

Even though it rained, they had the inside set up perfectly. Well except for the seating for dinner, they fucked that up a little bit. Eh.

Oh, and we stayed at the honeymoon suite there on site - shit was baller, son. In-room hot tub, dawg, you know how I do.

Phobooth - These weirdos brought a photobooth to the wedding. Everybody loved it, it was awesome. But quite the conundrum here: while the photobooth was a huge hit with everybody, the 2 workers that were manning the booth were obviously dating, and canoodling pretty heavily. Kinda weird - motherfuckers, this is my wedding, I'll do the fucking canoodling. Without a doubt, we'd let these weirdos come to our wedding again though.

Kate White Photography - Obviously our photographer. They were awesome. Only problem was that it was HOT AS FUCK, and I was getting CRABBY AS FUCK. Cause it was HOT AS FUCK. So Kate White Photography, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. They were good though, got us some awesome pictures at a great price. Would def book them again.

That's about it for the major things. Heckyeahwoman used a couple flower vendors, and well, I don't give a shit about flowers.

Oh and lol, today is actually our one month anniversary of not getting divorced. FERK YEAH, SLORES


Dr. Groomsman said...

big rofl @ "if I were a jar of change, I'd be dead."

Gracie said...

I really liked the truffle cake! My only complaint about the photobooth couple was that they seemed annoyed that people were enjoying it so much - you know, taking pictures, with other people, in the photobooth that was there for just that purpose. One of them even said, "This happens every time!" Yeah, well, duh.