Friday, June 18, 2010

monograms

I was totally just thinking about something the other day: we were at some bridal store, doing some bridal wedding shit, and the topic of monograms came up. I can't remember, I think we were talking about like monogramming the inside of Heckyeahwoman's wedding dress.

I don't know.

Just the idea of monogramming something is kind of stupid. Or even the inside of an article of clothing. People can't even see it; what would be the point? When I get shit monogrammed, I want it to be heavy duty, serious shit. Like gold foil embossed.

This leads me to my next question, if you're gonna get something monogrammed, what the hell do you get monogrammed? A towel? A polo shirt? A sock?

Nah, you get your face monogrammed, pussy. Or like a pillowcase or something.

Then what? What do you get monogrammed on your face? Your initials, obviously.

With that in mind, I immediately commented to Heckyeahwoman that she has pretty feminine initials.

C H L - all very womanly, weak letters. They scream subordination. Just so dainty and womanlike.

Take me for example, A G T - these are very rugged letters, culminating into one of the toughest sets of initials ever. Axe, Guitar, and Trap. Very masculine words. Do you know why they're so masculine? Because they begin with HARD ASS letters.

Other manly letters that would make for a great, mean monogram: D F R. That's some pretty manly stuff right there. Heavy duty, no doubt. Think about words that begin with D's, F's, and R's: Dick, Fart, and Rage. Hard as NAILS.

Funny, of all the things to refer to as "pretty manly stuff", I refer to certain monogrammed initials lol. If I could be yelling instead of typing right now, I totally would be. In fact, if "blasting chicks" could be a monogram, I'd totally get that on something.

And don't worry, we absolutely didn't monogram anything.

And on a semi-related note, I am getting married tomorrow. FUCK YEAH

1 comment:

Uh-uh. Not sayin' said...

AGT could also mean

ASS
GAY
TARD

Just sayin'.

Holla!!