Gonna use some PICTURES to PUMP YOU UP today.
Like yo, if I was gonna be a weatherman, I would be predicting the weather so much as I'd be PUMPING YOU UP with a HUGE RADAR DICK.
Erry night on the evening news, kids.
I so wish that statue was a real person. And I so wish what the picture is implying, would really happen. And I really wish there would be a picture to document the aftermath.
HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT THOSE APES FIGHTING. But they're not just fighting each other - nah, they're fighting for your PUMP. They've been doing this ever HUMP DAY since the dawn of time; and they will continue to fight for your freedom to be PUMPED UP, for eternity.
The PUMP here is obvious: a kid in a bear trap. The potentiality of kids getting hurt PUMPS ME UP. HATING KIDS PUMPS ME UP.
Eh yo, this PUMP is for all my scientist friends. "Time Paradox"? That sounds scientific. Dividing by zero? So mathematical. The insanity of the image taken as a whole? Truly a PUMP-inducing picture presentation. This should be on a Powerpoint or something.
Today is what, Wednesday? I'm not entirely sure where I am, probably back in Florida by now, but rest assured, I'm severely hung over, and desperately need this PUMP to get me through.